Cluster: Reconciliation

 René's Highlights  Edith's Highlights
Video 6 Question 6, Day 1, Berlin, 0000-0223
Topic: Archive - Continuation of Video 005
I can’t really use my mother altogether.. you know, I mean I was busy running around doing teaching and, you know, being my kind of gipsy-self. And these things were just stored in a box and I didn’t think anybody was really interested in, you know, it was not a big deal. And then, about 20, yes 20 years ago when William Rand started to do his research, he just really… all my little walls of resistance came up and I… I sort of ignored all this stuff that I had because I didn’t know what I would find and I was afraid of what I would find, I think, you know in all this stuff… or what I wouldn’t find, you know it’s kind it goes both ways.  I’ve gradually become more willing to be more open with it and I think the door really opened when my mother died, because it was… I didn’t have familial retribution, then.. 
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2. Cluster: Mutters Einfluss
Hier zeigt sich wie William Rand ein Dorn in ihrem Auge war und sie heute beginnt, sich zu öffnen - ganz im Sinne der Versöhnung.

RV Editing: 09-1
make one video out of V006 and V005
Video 7 Question 7, Day 1, Berlin, 0000-0151
Topic: "Teaching Story" versus historic facts
So… when.. in 1979 when I travelled with my grandmother, I first heard the story of Reiki, I just thought «… it’s only unbelievable». And.. because you know I had no experience of Reiki, I didn’t even know what Reiki was really, as far as to practice or the energy or anything. And I had to use other people as a kind of test to see whether my grandmother was like really crazy or if she was actually saying something that was a value to people. But people sat and listened to her and they were respectable people and you know, it’s like.. I just finally had to surrender to.. that she was saying things to people that I couldn’t relay to but these other people did, I mean, they were awestruck by this whole thing. 
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Das Spannungsfeld zwischen Takata (der Mutter) und Phyllis zeigt sich. Und dass Phyllis zu Reiki so wie die Jungfrau zum Kinde kam.

RV Editing: 10-1
delete first 44 seconds (kursiv)
Video 7 Question 7, Day 1, Berlin, 0151-0459
it was not the story of four people but it was a story of Reiki and how it emerged through these people’s lives. Which was a good perspective for me because it really helped me when people started to add birthdays and you know, when people died and all this factual stuff… but it’s not about people. It’s about Reiki.  And then…when the memorial stone was found was a really big thing, because that was the first real kind of substantial body of information, and lo and behold, what was on the stone collaborated my grandmother’s story. Well that was like «shuuu» relieve! 
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2. Cluster: Reconciiation.
Phyllis zeigt Wertschätzung gegenüber Petter's Arbeit.

Video 8 Question 8, Day 1, Berlin, 0000-0308
Topic: Healing of individual and society (in and with Germany)
When I first came to Germany however, I was really struck by the profundity of what happened in Reiki classes here.  
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Versöhnung auf der grossen Bühne: nach dem Krieg. Eine Vorstellung herrscht, dass Reiki dazu beigetragen hat, dass die Berliner Mauer runter gekommen ist. Das möchte ich so nicht in diesem Video erzählen. Aber wie Fremde Ihre Deutschablehnung loslassen, das ja.

RV Editing: 11-1
Emotional, Phyllis weeping. Strong statement that reconciliation is possible. Within individuals and within society.
Video 8 Question 8, Day 1, Berlin, 0308-0558
I was having people come from the Netherlands and France and Belgium and the Scandinavian countries and so on to this place near Hamburg. And almost immediately what I heard form them was «well, it was really difficult for me to come here”. And I went, being an American: «why?». And they would say: «Well, I swore I would never come to Germany again in my life after the war». one of these Dutch guys who really touched me, he was big truck-driver kind of guy, you know, not very well educated and he had been driving all through Europe all these years. He said «You know, every time I came through Germany he just said ‚okay, don’t stop, don’t break down, I don’t wanna speak the German language, you know, I’m not into Germany». And he said: «You know what happened? … When I came this time I thought I’m coming home”… 
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Phyllis is weeping 05:58
Video 8 Question 8, Day 1, Berlin, 0558-0813
And I found that to be really profound. And it’s happened in many other places in the world… And I also believe that in every country where Reiki has profoundly been practiced, which is now pretty much every country in the world, even Africa, that there is something shifting in the society.  
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this entire video is a video in its own right.
Video 15 Question 15, Day 2, Berlin, 0000-0250
Topic: Betrayals
I feel that the largest sort of betrayal or injustice in my life was definitely not understanding the point of my going on this trip with my grandmother 1979. And that.. I mean people laugh and I think the think I’m joking, you know, the difference between, you know, a person who decided to quit everything and become a ski bum, because skiing really transformed my life on a physical level as well as lots of other levels . And then I went off in the summer to travel with my grandmother, a person that I didn’t really like, and I was really uncomfortable, we’ve had a really painful relationship with and at the same time I feel that somehow underneath it, Reiki was calling me, but I could only say that 20 years later, I couldn’t have said that at the time. And I really did think that I was going with her to carry her suitcases, make sure she didn’t get robbed or carry the money anyway and make sure she ate well. So… much to my surprise it ended up to be the initiation as a master and my first teaching on how to teach classes and so on. And my first understanding about what Reiki was for her. So, I felt betrayed by my mother who encouraged me to go on this trip, never saying “Well you know, if you go, you’re going to, you know, working with your grandmother and so on”. And then, when my grandmother initiated me, you know, and I heard this kind of funny like clapping-hand-noise, and she says “And now you can work with me”, you know, I really did have this picture of carrying suitcases, counting money and I never.. I never imagined teaching Reiki, because up to that time I didn’t even know what Reiki was. So…. 
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2. Cluster: Phyllis
Difficult relationship with Takata, betrayed by mother, transformation and Calling, Skiing ... also in V082

Barbara Weber ..
RV Editing: 01-2
Video 15 Question 15, Day 2, Berlin, 0516-0750
And then my grandmother died. That I felt was a betrayal, because she had told me that she would live until Christmas, that she would for sure be there for Christmas. And she died on December 11th I was really angry for a month or something because I felt that she had not kept her promise and that I would have done something really different if I had known that. But whenever I thought that I would always hear her words say “Reiki comes first” and then I would get even more angry because for me family duty was really the most important thing in my life at that point. 
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Video 15 Question 15, Day 2, Berlin, 0750-1033
A few month after my grandmother’s death Barbara Weber declared herself to be the successor, or tried to. And people … the other masters that Hawayo Takata had initiated called me up and said “well I recognise you as a successor, now what are you going to do?” . And I went “Well, I don’t know” And she turned me down. I think it was a wise thing for her, it was all or nothing. And I feel it was also wise for me, I just didn’t know that. And then she started to…. and then she started to publish her Newsletter, saying she was the only true master that Hawayo Takata had initiated and so on. So another betrayal came about, but very quickly I realized it was the greatest gift my grandmother had left me, because if somebody had not challenged all of us, at once, then we would not have found this place in ourselves that was very clearly a master and knew that we were masters and that we were able to… go to that place of mastery and out of that place develop ourselves as masters. So she gave us a great gift, it was a very contrary gift, and at sometimes very painful because we all wanted it to be love and light and cooperation and everything. But, you know, I had lived most of my life through adversity, so (Laughs) .. it seemed pretty OK for me. 
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2. Cluster: Original 22 and Master Body

this passage here is interrupted ... but she crecounts the same episode and comments on Barbra Weber in Video 32, 33 and 67, 68, 80, 82
Video 16 Question 16, Day 2, Berlin, 0302-0616
in the mid 80ies I remember realizing that I had lived a lot of my life at the mercy of other people and what they thought and my mother kept pointing this out to me but I had no idea what she meant at the time (laugh) what she was talking to me. But I realized that as a master and as a lineage bearer, as grand master if I didn’t feel a complete Yes in everything that I did, then I wouldn’t do it. That was my motto. And I still use that to this day. I don’t have to have reasons for it to be a Yes, because often there are no reasons. Because it looks like on the outside that I shouldn’t do it, but on the inside, if I say Yes, then I just do it. And my thinking is that.. if I make a decision for a Yes then I can always make another decision later because I didn’t… I can’t blame anybody else,  And if you do it yourself , then you can always make another decision. And it’s really OK for me to go: “Whoops, I thought this was the road I wanted to take, and it isn’t”. So I’m backing up, I’m turning around … or I’m taking a detour or something else. 
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2. Cluster: Phyllis

Video 18 Question 18, Day 2, Berlin, 0000-0148
Topic: Do you think a RM needs a therapist ?
for my 1st degree students when they sit in the chair for initiation, they open themselves to me totally energetically. And that is a truly amazing intimate moment that will never ever be shared by anybody else. So that responsibility, that moment of initiation brings me to, I believe, to an energetic and spiritual connection with this person for a life time  
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2. Cluster: Mastery
Projections Student-Master, oral tradition, family constellation

RV Editing: 04-2
Video 18 Question 18, Day 2, Berlin, 0615-0838
The woman that I was talking about … in my early Reiki life was part of a drama that I have created and that my husband and I have created. And I could totally understand her feeling so unsafe, that she just couldn’t be with me at all. And … and jet I really trust her teaching of Reiki, I trust … I know that she is dedicated to Reiki and dedicated the rest of her life to Reiki. So in that way, you know, it comes to this kind of question about success. It’s like…. was I successful as a Master? Well, yes, I was, but I wasn’t very successful as a friend and I wasn’t very successful in my own inner family relationships where she got swept up into it. And then…there.. at this point there is really no way to go back and extract ourselves from that and it happened. And sometimes there irrevocable… there is irrevocable damage that happened. And it’s good to accept that so and not have to… you know..lessen your own guilt by making it OK for you. But I think for her it will never be OK. And that is sad but it is true. And I hope that there are not very many people in my Reiki life where I have created that kind of situation. 
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eine erste Entschuldigung.

from 6:51 onwards she refers to the woman in Video 13 and 14 .. here she as much as apologizes.
Video 19 Question 19, Day 2, Berlin, 0000-0228
Topic: Reconcilliation, forgiveness
Well, it took me a while to 0010 (räusper) it took me a while to come to an understanding of forgiveness. Because what I did instead, was I just took the responsibility on myself. And so my hardest thing was to learn how to forgive myself. And it was one of the things that we… I believe inadvertently touched upon in our self-assessment workshops. 
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RV Editing: 05-2
Video 19 Question 19, Day 2, Berlin, 0406-0552
And then the energy of forgiveness and reconciliation coming in that same moment was astonishing, it was very moving for me and allowed me… I think they came at a time when it allowed me to divest myself of last ideas that as a lineage bearer I had to be perfect. I knew my grandmother wasn’t perfect, for sure. And ..it was always my big paradox or my big….dilemma of how to hold my grandmother as the woman that I knew she was and my experience of her as a granddaughter as another person of the planet and as a Reiki Master 0526 knowing she was not hum… ähm 0528 knowing she was not perfect and yet hearing how.. she was so perfect for everybody else.  
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Video 22 Question 22, Day 2, Berlin, 0646-0938
And then in school – because this was right after the war – people were not happy with having a Japanese child in school. And the teachers were extremely weird. Mostly, the prejudice and they kind of hateful experience I had in school were from teachers. They would… the kids would tease me about being Japanese and I would, of course, fight for my self. And … I was the one that got her mouth washed out with soap. Or, y’know, got to stand in a corner. Or.. and the other kids never had any kind of retribution from the teachers. It was only when I was 64, if you can imagine, and found out that I had a metastasis from my breast cancer.And so that my girl friends from this time, I’ve met them when I was 4 when I moved to Keosauqua, three of them came and we talked about my relationship with my mother which was very fraught and my family life back in those days and who they saw I was during that time. And it was a revelation, really, I mean, this was really true reconciliation.  
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2. Cluster: Reconciliation

Video 32 Question 32, Day 2, Berlin, 1257-1453
This phrase “the spiritual lineage” came in the second meeting at Barbara Brown’s house when we were trying to put together statements of identity for this Reiki Alliance. And I still believe that these statements have great foresight and also a great challenge. I can’t say them right off hand but one of them says something like… “we recognize all masters as equal in the oneness of Reiki” and the Reiki Alliance members today still argue about this phrase. But I believe that all masters of Reiki are equal in the oneness of Reiki. It doesn’t mean we are the same and it’s very important for me…it was very important for me that this thought was a founding stone, a corner stone of the Reiki Alliance because I didn’t want anyone to feel that this Reiki Alliance was a like an exclusive club. I also wanted them to realize that “they weren’t better than”  
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Video 33 Question 33, Day 2, Berlin, 0408-0515
I believe that if we are truly masters, we’ll be able to understand that particular statement and actually support it, because I believe that it’s true. It’s a piece of wisdom that we came up with that was way beyond actually our mental consciousness at the time.  I think we were wise beyond our years, so to speak. 
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Video 44 Question 44, Day 2, Berlin, 0000-0747
Topic: Trademark, Controlling alterations to system - Continuation of Videos 40-43
when we adapt a practice like Reiki that touches us in this kind of essence place of our humanness, then we want to protect it, to control it in the sense of, you know, making sure it’s not harmed, to be sure that other people don’t harm it themselves. We don’t want it taken away from us.   However, people assume that there was a way to control the proliferation of the different of the different forms of practice. And I believe there was absolutely no way to control that. I mean, this started happening from the moment Hawayo Takata died or before. And I liken it to our human need to make things our own.  
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2. Cluster: ... Master Body
Auch die Dissonanz begann schon vor Takata, Barbara Weber und deshalb Cluster Reconciliation.

Video 49 Question 2, Day 2, Arizona, 0000-0156
Topic: Reiki Home: reconciliation styles and Nature - Continuation ov Video 48
We are incorporating or inviting or visioning that this will be a reconciliation place for all Reiki practices to come together. Not, as I said, not to teach each other our practices, not to convince each other who is right or wrong but to live in peace, to rally live supporting each other because I believe that.. what humanity is asking for is a way to get in touch with our human spirit and to be able to nurse that spirit just in a very simple way like we do with Reiki, our Reiki practice. where Reiki, the energy comes from and you know should we have oral tradition and have a master who stands in front and in person and initiates or is it okay to accept you know distant initiations and so on. All these questions, they really are the meat for some great conversations, not about finding out who’s right or wrong but to deepen our understanding of the universe and these questions Reiki is leading us to 
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V049 needs to be added to V048
Cannon MVI 5117 (?)
Video 49 Question 2, Day 2, Arizona, 0156-0258
And I believe that this is what Takata said when she said “let Reiki teach you”.  And I believe if we all came together and connected and discussed these questions we would further our own individual practices, our own individual understanding of the universe and raise the practice of Reiki in the world to… a recognized force in our social transformation. 
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Video 56 Question 9, Day 2, Arizona, 0000-0225
Topic: Men vs Women? - Continuation of Video 055
So, if we could generalize and say that this informational truth was sort of masculine and the feminine truth was from feeling then there would be a wish for me to bring these two together and it’t kind on my bucket list of things to do before I die that somehow these two will come together peacefully, not in competition but in understanding that they actually complement one another.  
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needs to be added to previous Video 055
Cannon MVI 5126 up to 5:05 from where the next question (Sacrifice?) starts for the next Video ie 057
Video 57 Question 10, Day 2, Arizona, 0000-0210
Topic: What would you still contribute to achieve peace amongst "factions"
I believe that movements like the Australian Congress (for whatever better word)… I believe that Reiki Home as it matures will bring these factions together in a way that is the right time. And then when we meet it will be able to be done in a way that people will say “well, that wasn’t so difficult! Why did we think that this was impossible?”.  So I have to give up dying…. And probably other things in my personality that I can’t see right now. But I have to be able to make the space open for the conversation and I work on it myself. 
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2. Cluster: ...Master Body

as a continuation of the Question about male/female (patriarchy)...
This will not be a video on its own ... only for the reconciliation Video.
Cannon MVI 5127
Video 58 Question 11, Day 2, Arizona, 0000-0110
Topic: Reconciliation with researchers
Certain people bring out certain qualities in us, you know, when we partner with them and it’s really interesting, you know, we always polarize. So you know the more macho the researchers are, you know, and now I feel like Frank Petter and William Rand and some of the others have softened a bit. I don’t know if that’s really true or not but it feels like they have. So I feel less defence, defended and so you know it’s like this is part of the process it’s going to take to have us come together not particularly in the sense of being in the same room talking together but being able to use their data and find it ok and then… you know what I mean (0054) So.. (René in the back ground) Oh no! This is not on the record (Thassos: this was on record) … I’m kiding, I dont care. (Thassos in the back ground). (0111) 
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Hier erwähnt sie namentlich zwei ihrer Kontrahenten

as a continuation of the Question about male/female (patriarchy)...
This will not be a video on its own ... only for the reconciliation Video.
Cannon MVI 5133
Video 59 Question 12, Day 2, Arizona, 0000-0142
Topic: Would you go to a closed meeting with Rand, Petter, Ellyard?
I don’t want to necessarily be friends with them, I don’t want to learn their…. form of Reiki. I don’t want to teach them my form of Reiki, I mean I’m not… that’s not an agenda item on my part. So the question is more to the point why would we meet, what would be the motivation for us to go and it would have to be something pretty astonishing, 
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Cannon MVI 5134
The question came vrom Esther and Ikechukwu with the suggestion to do it in Africa
Video 59 Question 12, Day 2, Arizona, 0315-0330
reconciliation is the force that brings us together. Just to be clear: I could do reconciliation without meeting them. 
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this is on Cannon MVI 5134 (05:31-05:46) and not taken by Andi into this video. Please add.
Video 60 Question 13, Day 2, Arizona, 0334-0546
Japan introduced Buddhism to it’s… brought Buddhism in kind of the year 536 or something. And out of that time many different… sects like SECTS of Buddhism emerged. They basically all practiced Buddhism in the sense that they take the words that… were attributed to Buddha and the methods that he used to attain enlightenment, they have approximately the same identification of enlightenment what the term means, but they take only a small portion of his teaching and one method to get there. And that’s the difference of all these sects. But they all know that they.. their foundation is all the same practice. And I would love Reiki to become that way because it means that there is no competition, there is no right and wrong, just different forms and different methods to get to the same relationship with Reiki, the universal life energy. 
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2. Cluster: Cultural Transfer

Video 60 Question 13, Day 2, Arizona, 0546-0843
This practice is only a hundred years old, give or take a year or two and… you know we are not there yet. You know, Buddhism is, you know…. In Japan now we could say it’s an 1800-year-practice. So in those 1800 years yeah in 1800 years of practice they figured out a few things, and competition is one of them. 
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2. Cluster: Cultural Transfer

Video 60 Question 13, Day 2, Berlin, 0843-0847
and maybe they never had competition, I don’t know. 
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2. Cluster: Cultural Transfer

Left out by Andi, please add from Cannon MVI 5135 the following: 04:54 P: “and maybe they never had competition, I don’t know.” 04:58
Video 62 Question 15, Day 2, Arizona, 1048-1415
So when I got to Russia I was told that I would have one day with people who wanted to be master candidates and at that time there were 2 or 3 Russian speaking masters and they had just be initiated but all the other masters initiating in Russia were from other countries and flew in and did classes and flew back out. And they were not able to ask for US$ 150 for first degree, they just couldn’t bring themselves to do that. So I was to address these master candidates and of course one of the big questions was about the money, US$ 10’000. So I tell you I did a lot of Reiki treatment on myself, I did a lot of nashing of teeth and I knew that I had to walk in there and say “you pay your initiating master US$ 10’000, I don’t care what they ask you, you pay it!”  I went in and I said “you know, this system is like a recipe and I want you to know that I paid US$ 10’000 to my grandmother for my commitment to Reiki, for being a Reiki Master and at the time I had no idea why I was doing this, because I didn’t even know what that meant. And I said “over the years I’ve initiated many masters and I want you to know that whether you know it or not, you will be a Reiki Master in this system and you will be a Reiki Master in a world community and though you cannot imagine travelling outside of Russia, now, you will! And when you go outside of Russia, I want you to be the same, I want you to have the same commitment to the system, I want you to have paid the same money and I want you to be able to hold your head up and say I’m a Master of Usui Shiki Ryoho, just like you! 
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2. Cluster: Mastery

Video 62 Question 15, Day 2, Arizona, 1415-1520
… They stood up and gave me a standing ovation and I nearly fell to the floor. And some years after that I was in a master seminar with a man who was there and he said “you know, you came on the eve of the USSR breaking up because that was the only way legally I could go to Russia actually. And he said “here was this giant that had been brought to it’s knees and split apart and we had no dignity left and when you said that to us you gave us back our dignity and our desire to be a Reiki Master in the world.” And he said “we never even imagined that”. And he said “you gave us something to work for”. 
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2. Cluster: Mastery

Video 64 Question 17, Day 2, Arizona, 0246-0407
So.. in the sense of people squabbling about “I have the right Reiki” or “I have the only Reiki” or “I have Reiki from… you know, Krishna or whatever” you know all of this is working out the individual’s process and also it adds to this restraining and activating force on this global level what we call the .. what I call the global Reiki community. And Reiki is our reconciling force and I believe that when we are really ready to surrender to that reconciling force and are able to hold the creative dissidence that is happening right now, we are going to get something really great.  So if we can imagine ourselves in a cauldron just being stirred by the great hand of Reiki… 
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2. Cluster: Cultural Transfer

Video 66 Question 19, Day 2, Arizona, 0536-0756
I lived in Germany for five years and I lived in Hamburg, which is very close to Berlin and I had initiated a master who lived in Berlin, West Berlin, who was going to the East to teach classes, illegally. And so the Berlin wall was very real for me and I was there when it opened. I mean “opened” is a very accurate word, because it just opened.  I thought to myself “I hope the world learns a lesson from this”. That you can put up an artificial wall but it doesn’t keep families from loving each other or wanting to be with each other, it doesn’t keep people separated. It just is an artificial structure that brings pain. And it seemed at that moment, because of the way that the wall opened that maybe we had come to another order of relationship in… between nations and between people in the world. And I have to say that after this there has been a kind of… in my opinion, a kind of back-stepping that.. and maybe it’s going forward and we’ve met another impasse. But somehow today, in 2016, you know we’re looking at countries in Europe building walls, literally building walls again, because they want to keep out their brother and sister who are starving to death, who fear for their life so much that they’re leaving their beloved homeland. 
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Video 66 Question 19, Day 2, Arizona, 0756-0956
There is a wonderful saying that says “if you have enough build a longer table rather than a wall”. And it’s like this is what we need to do.  
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phyllis is very emotional
Video 81 Question 34, Day 3, Arizona, 0000-0211
Topic: Reconciliation, Forgiveness, Apology, Rand?
Again, this is a… my problem because I know the question isn’t going to be asked, it’s just so weird for me to just say “I’m sorry”, you know, like where does that come from and what am I sorry for and you know there is that whole thing. So I’m just trying to formulate a starting point and then where to get to from there. 
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She asks for forgiveness

Bei 0041 ist ein Bildschnitt .... und der folgende Para hat sie am nächsten Tag korrigiert?
RV: MVI 3020
Video 81 Question 34, Day 3, Arizona, 0211-0346
So a few years ago I was introduced in this little book called “The four agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz and I really recommend it to all of us who practice Reiki because it’s a really great way to … measure and to take assessment of our own humanness in human relationships and in the relationships with the planet and everything else as well. And I …. these four little phrases run through my mind, always do your best, don’t take it personally, do not make assumptions and be articulate with your word.  I try to do that in my own mind. And of course, being a human being, when I do my best I often don’t do what other people want or expect. When I don’t take it personally, sometimes people think that I’m cold or I don’t care. When I don’t make assumptions, it means that I don’t assume that somebody is hurt, I don’t assume that this is being taken the wrong way or I don’t assume that it actually affects people, which is actually not usually accurate (laugh). 
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Video 81 Question 34, Day 3, Arizona, 0346-0537
So anyway, I realized though when I was taking this language and trying to speak it that I really had to get into the mind set of German, you know and of being German.  I had an apartment in Hamburg and I really loved North Germany as a part of the country. And I was feeling very at home there. So it was easy for me to kind of slip into this German part of myself, I would call it. 
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Video 81 Question 34, Day 3, Arizona, 0537-0702
But when I went to other countries and I didn’t have knowledge of their language, I didn’t really understand their culture and their cultural priorities, I realized that I often offended people or as they say here in America “was kind of like a bull in a China shop”. I just, you know, blundered my way through being an American, not really understanding that I might be offending people.  So there’s that part of me, being human. And then there’s the other part of me, which just is shy and sometimes not wanting to put myself on the firing line, which I think all of you can understand. So I have more courage these days and I also have more understanding about where other people come from, that I feel like everyone is doing their best. Everyone follows their path of Reiki and even though I may not like it or I don’t agree with it, I will fight to the death for your right to have your own path, because for me that is the gift of Reiki and the gift of this path. 
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Video 81 Question 34, Day 3, Arizona, 0702-0909
And I have told my students this as well, that if we differ in opinion it’s okay for me on one hand, I may not like it, I may not like you for a few days but I will fight to the death to make sure that you’re right to disagree, or to have your own opinion more accurately. It’s preserved because that’s our inalienable right as a human being.  I also feel that, whether or not I like it, I’ve made assumptions and whether or not I like it, I not always said what I really needed to, because of my shyness or because I feel like I won’t be taken seriously. So there are many different relationships that I have that I don’t even know I have, out in the Reiki world and also relationships where I know that I’ve transgressed. And for all these times when you feel that I’ve transgressed, that I’ve entered your space unwillingly and uninvited, where I’ve offended you in some way, where my … where my loyalty to my master has caused you pain because it’s different from what you have learned is Reiki, and that has given you pain, for all these things I want to ask your forgiveness because it wasn’t my intention, it’s not the way I hold you and everyone has been a great teacher for me. And without you I wouldn’t be who I am today. 
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she asks for forgiveness!
a possible end to the video?
Video 82 Question 35, Day 3, Arizona, 1045-1255
So in keeping to this feeling of doing my best at the time, I think that when I was… in the mid 1990s when I was going through this trademark thing, I had some regrets but I couldn’t have made a different decision, at the time, in 1983. I just couldn’t have, it was not to be done.  Another decision that I made, that people… that seemed to be a very big deal in the Reiki community, was in 1988 during the first Reiki Alliance conference in Europe in Friedrichsdorf. I made a very important speech. And unfortunately… I wasn’t…. I wasn’t able to be articulate and to be accurate in my word. So people misunder….. people misunderstood me, they interpreted this speech really differently and … than I had imagined they would and … I did my best. So basically this … the whole thing that it came to was that I … that I had listened with growing dismay about people saying “Well you’re the only one who has the power to initiate masters”. And I would tell them “You’re wrong. This is not about power”. 
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Video 82 Question 35, Day 3, Arizona, 1424-1607
A lot of people didn’t like what I was doing but they couldn’t say anything ‘cause they had given me and said “you are the person to initiate masters in this system”. And that would have worked, if the system had stayed small, had stayed local but it didn’t… it just… in 1988 people were being initiated all over Europe, in India, in Canada, in Australia. You know, it’s like “Really? I’m going to initiate all these masters? Forget it!”  “I am not going to be an initiation machine, where people just send me their students, I initiate them and that’s it.  
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Video 82 Question 35, Day 3, Arizona, 1607-1728
I made the speech and I said “you know, it is a master’s right to share their information and their calling as a master to any student that they feel is worthy. And it is up to you to prepare yourself for this step”. And I don’t know if any of the other messages have gotten through but the response was I had given away my power, I had… and I said “I haven’t given away anything. I had nothing to give away”, because this whole power thing was a misconception, you know, it’s not about giving away your power, it’s about sharing sacred tools so that a worthy student can step on the path of mastery and have their own experience of this. It’s not a… it’s a gift but in a kind of funny way. Because you know they are going to have hardship, challenges, confrontations… it’s going to take their life and totally change it. And… that’s a kind of funny gift I have to say. 
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Video 82 Question 35, Day 3, Arizona, 1728-1821
I spent a lot of guilty feelings around this because it was so misunderstood at the time. I felt like I hadn’t been able to really articulate what I wanted to and, you know, at some point I just had to say “I did my best and it opened up the space and it was a little ungraceful but in the end it accomplished what I wanted. And that was to dispel this idea that it was only me who had the power to initiate masters. That was really important for me. 1807… So 
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Video 83 Question 36, Day 3, Arizona, 0000-0207
Topic: Forgiving yourself? - Continuation of Video 82
They wanted to have kind of a physical “You can initiate masters and you can not!”, you know “You are not ready!” and “You are!” and I couldn’t have done that because it really, really for me was not my place to bless anybody to initiate masters nor to prevent them from initiating masters.   But… and I opened Pandora’s box, I admit.. but I feel like it was now a good thing. I wish I would not had used the sledge hammer but perhaps the key (laugh). But I didn’t have the key then. 
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Video 83 Question 36, Day 3, Arizona, 1039-1303
So I just, you know, at that point between my personality and my lineage bearer self I was crushed. And I just dropped it, just like that. And I left a lot of people high and dry in my own community. Some masters actually left Reiki because of this situation. My relationship with the Reiki Alliance has never.. I don’t think healed from this particular process, on my part, because I felt not supported, not recognized and not heard….  There has been tremendous misunderstanding that has come out of this particular four year period…. And… there is nothing I can say to … convince people otherwise.  It was just assumption, after assumption, after assumption, that for me, especially with the Alliance members felt very painful because I realized, they didn’t know who I was, they didn’t know how much I thought for them and they didn’t know that I could see them and that I would be compassionate. So this was just a heartbreaker. 
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Video 83 Question 36, Day 3, Arizona, 1303-1520
Could I have done something different? No, I felt like I did my best. Unfortunately … (laugh) unfortunately my best was not nearly good enough. Ahhh… I was not prepared for this.  If I have any regret in my whole time being recognized as the Grand Master, that’s the one. I never met Joop in person. I would…. Now I realize I should have several times met him in person. We only talked through attorneys. We never talked face to face. We didn’t go to court, it was settled out of court, so I didn’t even see him in court…. And I feel badly about that, because I feel like we only have the projection of who we think he or she or I was at the moment and it’s probably still present.  
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Video 83 Question 36, Day 3, Arizona, 1520-1713
So… Can I forgive myself? Well, yes. I feel like I have. Because I couldn’t go on if I hadn’t. And I don’t know what I could have done differently.   If I knew then what I know now, it would have been a very different scene, and I didn’t.” Speaking about it helps, because I feel that I’m able to speak about it in a way that I don’t bring up my guilt and I don’t bring up feeling small and inadequate but I just bring up this overwhelming feeling of sadness that….. it couldn’t have been different. If that makes any sense. That I would have liked for it to have been different for everyone…. And it wasn’t. 
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Video 83 Question 36, Day 3, Arizona, 1713-1828
Since then (laugh)… since then my life as Grand Master has been pretty mellow (laugh),   So these are the three places when you asked me about forgiving myself that come up for me and that there’s obviously energy still there, and I think rightfully so. It’s…. these were times where in our…. in my community anyway.. in this practice that there were significant changes of development that happened. 
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Video 88 Question 41, Day 3, Arizona, 0006-0117
Topic: How would you like to be remembered / your legacy?
It is my hope that my legacy will be that I not only invited the Reiki community to move to a higher expression but to have guided it so that it became a higher expression of itself. And what I mean by this, and I don’t mean to be critical of where we are because every level of expression is necessary and needs to be lived thoroughly,   And what we’re moving into as a community for me is a maturity, but it needs to what I feel like Reiki is asking of all of us is… 
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Video 88 Question 41, Day 3, Arizona, 0117-0229
Is to do this reconciliation not for reconciliation’s sake but as a stepping stone to the next stage of development of this practice, and I mean practice globally. That is to be able to … develop into a practice that serves humanity and serves life. That’s very, very clear from the self-treatment of those individuals to associations and groups of people who do specific projects to the global community that actually votes and informs the government leaders of our times and that actually make a difference on a political and on a spiritual and on a mental level and the only way we can do that is to act together. 
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Video 90 Question 43, Day 3, Arizona, 0829-0916
In 1992 we came together because he had had a feeling that he should step in and help me as the lineage bearer, as the Grand Master actually at that point. And I also had the same feeling. And we had not had a very friendly relationship for the last 2 years before this. So it was really reconciliation immediate that we came together and it was recognized by the Reiki Alliance as a community and so he became known as head of discipline and our office together was the office of the Grand Master. 0912 So.. (räusper) 0915 
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I had asked as a last question, as an after-thought, about Paul Mitchell.
Video 90 Question 43, Day 3, Arizona, 0916-1047
So since 1992 and 3, we started this relationship until now, he’s been a peer and this particular relationship of peer has been very important for me. He’s a very different person from me, personality-wise, we have very different approaches to money, to travelling, to ….lots of different details like that, but our approach and what we are called to do in Reiki is the same. So we have had just amazing experiences working together.  He is really clear that he is not a lineage bearer, anyway now, he’s 2 years older than I am. We don’t know if his position will be filled if he dies. He is very clear that he wants my position filled by one person when I die. And I don’t know really if that’s gonna happen. I would like to think that I’m open to any.. whatever comes up, with the energy of Reiki with the Master Body and with the community. 
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Video 90 Question 43, Day 3, Arizona, 1047-1151
He has played a significant role of kind of anchor in all these years and has provided either the activating force or the restraining force in our discussions and vice versa. About 10 years ago we got kind of tired of the polarisation that this was creating. So after 2 or 3 years of actually going to counselling together and trying to work out our differences, we came to this conclusion that we were just very different personalities and that we didn’t really want to change each other. his ideas of what Reiki was and what Reiki wasn’t stimulated me to really research my own ideas and vice versa…. 
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Video 93 Question 46, Day 4, Arizona, 0000-0153
Topic: four agreements - correction
A few years ago I ran across a little book, it was the rage back then, called “The four agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz and I at first thought, well this is just like the precepts of Reiki and but just spoken in a different way. But then I started to realize that these four little phrases affected me in a different way, more directly maybe and with less questioning. So I’d like to share them with you because they have really made an impact in my life. The first agreement is “Be impeccable with your word”  The second agreement is “Don’t take anything personally”  The third one is “Don’t make assumptions”  And the fourth one is “Always do your best”  I feel as a human being that I’ve been able to use these in order to not only do my best and be sure that my communication is as best as I could be, but also to own my own humanness, my own understanding of situations and then realize afterwards that my best could have been better if I had known what I know now. So… 
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This entire video 93 is a "correction" Phyllis insisted on filming and it relates to Video 81 - the most important video for me! She would like the word "articulate" substituted by the word "impeccable"...
Video 93 Question 46, Day 4, Arizona, 0153-0231
Topic: correction material
I’d like to start with “Always do your best”: I feel as Reiki Masters all of us do our best in every given moment. Often times it’s easy for outsiders to say “Well, why didn’t they… why didn’t she do this or why didn’t she do that?”. But it’s easy when you’re outside of the situation to see other options. Personally I believe that you and all Reiki Masters and myself included, always do our best in any given moment. 
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Video 93 Question 46, Day 4, Arizona, 0231-0347
Topic: correction material
The one about “don’t take things personally”, that’s tough. Because in the beginning, especially in the early 1990’s I thought that the changes that were happening in different practices and the formation of new forms of Reiki were an affront to Hawayo Takata and of course I wanted to defend her. And so I definitely took things personally, if not personally also for Hawayo Takata. So I was a bit strict and a bit strong in those days and really confused because at the same time I really do believe that every person has a right to their own opinion and who they are. So even though my students differ in opinion and in theory from me I want to also say that I would defend their right to have their space, have their opinion and have their theory. 
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Video 93 Question 46, Day 4, Arizona, 0347-0450
When we make assumptions, often times what we are doing is filling in the gap of the unknown. And I believe that as Reiki Masters and I wanted to train myself to do this, that if there is something that I don’t know, I try not to make an assumption in order to fill in the unknown, but to just allow it to be and to see what happens. Well, of course in the early days I wasn’t very good at this and I made lots of assumptions. And now I trust that the number of assumptions that I’m making to fill in the blanks have lessened and in making those assumptions I feel like I have put other people in boxes or put on to people certain attitudes that maybe weren’t correct. 
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Video 93 Question 46, Day 4, Arizona, 0450-0630
Topic: correction material; Be impeccable with word
Be impeccable with your word, this one is really important for me. I really try to be impeccable, which means to say my truth as best I can in any given moment. And the most important part of this is the “in any given moment”, because the minute that I have a conversation with somebody, that idea or that word could change (0525) (cough) These five… these ….0540 These four agreements with myself have allowed me to look back and to… 
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Video 94 Question 47, Day 4, Arizona, 0000-0047
Topic: Be impeccable with word - correction
And so: be impeccable with your word, be impeccable with your word, be impeccable…. Being impeccable with my word Being impeccable with my words Being impeccable with my words 
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sound-pieces for repair work...