3:01
Sometime in the mid 80ies I remember realizing that I had lived a lot of my life at the mercy of other people and what they thought and my mother kept pointing this out to me but I had no idea what she meant at the time (laugh) what she was talking to me. But I realized that as a master and as a lineage bearer, as grand master if I didn’t feel a complete Yes in everything that I did, then I wouldn’t do it. That was my motto. And I still use that to this day. I don’t have to have reasons for it to be a Yes, because often there are no reasons. Because it looks like on the outside that I shouldn’t do it, but on the inside, if I say Yes, then I just do it. And my thinking is that.. if I make a decision for a Yes then I can always make another decision later because I didn’t… I can’t blame anybody else, because I can’t say “oh well, that René he told me do this and then, you know, well he shouldn’t have told me that and now so I am in this hot water “. And if you do it yourself , then you can always make another decision. And it’s really OK for me to go: “Whoops, I thought this was the road I wanted to take, and it isn’t”. So I’m backing up, I’m turning around … or I’m taking a detour or something else.
4:50 (räusper)
I also learned that what people bring to me as a reflection of who I am at the time … and I see that I am also a very reflective person back. So if somebody comes to me with a kind of attitude , then watch out, because I can just turn into that attitude so fast, it’s a little scary for me actually.
5:25
I have a few relationships in my life, where … it will always be a contrary kind of relationship but in that contrariness there is … there is a deep and abiding faith of care in that relationship, and that the safety is there to be contrary and to be aggressive sometimes, to be myself if I need to be and to reflect back to the other person who they are. Not.. I don’t do this consciously, I don’t think “oh, I’m.. now I’m gonna be reflective” . But it’s just something that happens inside of me. 0610 And ähm .. So (räusper)
6:15

0:00
(René: ..you agree with that?) Yes, I do… 0007 I feel that we are in a very interesting position as Reiki masters. I don’t know the daily things about people very often. I don’t know if they are married or if they have a relationship, I don’t know if they have children, I certainly don’t know the names of most of their children, I don’t know where they live, I don’t know what their daytime job is if they happen to have one. I only know a few little details that come up in coversation and I don’t hold on to them very much because it would be impossible.
0:52
But, eg. for my 1st degree students when they sit in the chair for initiation, they open themselves to me totally energetically. And that is a truly amazing intimate moment that will never ever be shared by anybody else. So that responsibility, that moment of initiation brings me to, I believe, to an energetic and spiritual connection with this person for a life time and perhaps we’re renewing something from other lifetimes, I have no idea, I have my own theories about that.
1:48

6:15
And some people walk and so on. So it’s… it’s an interesting process, but it’s important that this particular activity be conscious because if its not conscious and you have your own process remain in an unconscious state, then…. you will for sure involve your students and people around you into your drama and then to extract yourself is really difficult. I know because I have been there.
6:51
The woman that I was talking about … in my early Reiki life was part of a drama that I have created and that my husband and I have created. And I could totally understand her feeling so unsafe, that she just couldn’t be with me at all. And … and jet I really trust her teaching of Reiki, I trust … I know that she is dedicated to Reiki and dedicated the rest of her life to Reiki. So in that way, you know, it comes to this kind of question about success. It’s like…. was I successful as a Master? Well, yes, I was, but I wasn’t very successful as a friend and I wasn’t very successful in my own inner family relationships where she got swept up into it. And then…there.. at this point there is really no way to go back and extract ourselves from that and it happened. And sometimes there irrevocable… there is irrevocable damage that happened. And it’s good to accept that so and not have to… you know..lessen your own guilt by making it OK for you. But I think for her it will never be OK. And that is sad but it is true. And I hope that there are not very many people in my Reiki life where I have created that kind of situation.
8:38

0:00
Well, it took me a while to 0010 (räusper) it took me a while to come to an understanding of forgiveness. Because what I did instead, was I just took the responsibility on myself. And so my hardest thing was to learn how to forgive myself. And it was one of the things that we… I believe inadvertently touched upon in our self-assessment workshops. And there was some amazing times when people would … we would do roleplay or we would do communication exercises and somehow it would touch somebody so deeply that they would be catapulted into the process of forgiveness, much to their surprise I think and ours as well.
1:12
And for me …I found that forgiveness was a kind of miracle that happened when a certain set of circumstances occurred all at the same moment. And then somehow there was this revelationary occurrence and then forgiveness began to work….
1:44
So I have spent a lot of time in my therapy sessions trying to divest myself from the responsibility for everything that happened in the world, in my world especially. And to be able to forgive myself for being human, I mean that was one of my first things, is to know well you’ve made mistakes. Well, no I haven’t! I haven’t made mistakes and I am responsible for this and I’m in fault and …. So that was my line. And to get over that line
0216 (räusper)
and to come to a place of being able to forgive was really a major piece of work for me.
2:28

4:06
But I never imagined that, so to hear these people converse together and to say “Well, I always wanted this from you.” And the other person saying “But I couldn’t have given you that, that you had to find for yourself.” And then the energy of forgiveness and reconciliation coming in that same moment was astonishing, it was very moving for me and allowed me… I think they came at a time when it allowed me to divest myself of last ideas that as a lineage bearer I had to be perfect.
5:00
I knew my grandmother wasn’t perfect, for sure. And ..it was always my big paradox or my big….dilemma of how to hold my grandmother as the woman that I knew she was and my experience of her as a granddaughter as another person of the planet and as a Reiki Master 0526 knowing she was not hum… ähm 0528 knowing she was not perfect and yet hearing how.. she was so perfect for everybody else. So that was an interesting play in itself in this constellation. So I found it to be… I find it to be very interesting and it’s something actually that I’m still working on…0550 to get clear about
5:52

00:00
My parents met at the university of Hawaii after my father was discharged from the army. He was a part of the very famous 442^nd Japanese Amercian Battalion and ended up in Italy and he ended up loving Italy. And it was sort of an interesting thread through his live. And he was in pre.med at the time and my mother who really was an artist from her soul out … got pushed into be a pre-med student by her mother, my maternal grandmother who was Hawayo Takata.
00:57
And I am sure that my grandmother had in her head, that her daughter would go to pre-med, be a doctor and also be a Reiki Master she becomes a doctor and also a RM. My mother was with my grandmother at the time she met Chujiro Hayashi in Japan and received first degree from him. She never went on in Reiki because her idea was that she was going to raise a family and she didn’t want to have a career so to speak of Reiki. So … you know, times were spontaneous and who knows what it was like back then after the war in Hawaii but they ended up eloping because grandmother thought that my father would never make anything of himself.
01:51
And, so they eloped and they got married. And they eventually.. he ended up going to medical school in University Dallas, Texas. So they moved to Dallas, Texas and he went to med school there and then that’s where I was born, so I was born in Dallas. In ‘48.  And there is this rumour in my family that said that my grandmother, who was very into auspicious names, wanted to name me Dallas because it was a booming town then and … would become a very big city and she thought that would be a great name for me but luckily, anyway in my own story, I got saved from this by my mother who said «No». … So I ended up to be Phyllis. And I have no idea why.
02:53
I was born with a cleft pallet and I had a speech impediment from when I was very small, obviously when I started talking. My first 7 or 8 years of schooling I went to a speech therapist.. I just hated my name because the sounds that were hardest for me were f, s, t and r …it’s all through my name, right. So I just thought that his was very cruel. (laughs) And eventually I asked my mother «why did you do this?» like «why were you so set on my being able to speak clearly?» And she said  “because you are going to grow up and speak to a lot of people” And I went (shakes head), well, she is crazy
03:54

06:46
So we ended up in this very small town in the south-east corner of Iowa. That’s where I went to school all my years of … in the United States Grade School, so from 5-18. And basically I saw my life as being really terrible. My Brother was born almost 5 years after I was, so I was almost 5. I had been an only child, very pampered and very dotted on for 5 years and then, all of a sudden, the son comes. In Japanese families, sons are very important. And he was also a premature baby. So he got lots of attention. And I felt totally not cared for at all.  And then a couple of years later my sister came, so very close together. Actually, they’re.. I think they are an year and a half apart.
07:54
So, it was kind of .. one thing over another thing. And then in school – because this was right after the war – people were not happy with having a Japanese child in school. And the teachers were extremely weird. Mostly, the prejudice and they kind of hateful experience I had in school were from teachers. They would… the kids would tease me about being Japanese and I would, of course, fight for my self. And … I was the one that got her mouth washed out with soap. Or, y’know, got to stand in a corner. Or.. and the other kids never had any kind of retribution from the teachers.
08:49
It was only when I was 64, if you can imagine, and found out that I had a metastasis from my breast cancer.And so that my girl friends from this time, I’ve met them when I was 4 when I moved to Keosauqua, three of them came and we talked about my relationship with my mother which was very fraught and my family life back in those days and who they saw I was during that time. And it was a revelation, really, I mean, this was really true reconciliation. 0934 OK, I’m gonna take a little brake here..0937
09:42

06:12
My father was a doctor. So, whenever we got sick., which was not often, I have to say, we… he came, he would look at us, kind of poke at us with his finger and say, “you’ll live, go to school!” I mean, I never missed a day of school. I was late a lot in school but I never missed a day in school. So when I graduated at the age of 18, from this school, the principle had to give me this certificate that said that I had never missed a day school in twelve years. He said, «but I don’t know why I’m giving you this certificate because you were late probably half of those days. (laughs) And I said, «well, that’s really lucky for me.» (laughs)
7:12
I felt not very well cared for by my father but my family was definitely raised in a way, where, you know, you got sick, you went to the doctor, he gave you a pill or a shot and you got better. I mean, that was our idea of healing. Which wasn’t really healing. It’s kind of curing. So that’s how I went out into the world with this idea that I was not, I was not worthy to be a friend of anybody, I saw myself as very ugly, as having very little to offer people. And that I had friends was kind of a miracle. I didn’t really understand why I had friends. And that they just happened to me and that when they happened my parents would take care of.. would be there and they would take care of whatever was going on. And because of this hip thing that I had, which I can’t really explain, because nobody ever explained it to me, 0837 when I was 24 or so, no 25 I foun.. I was taken up to the mountains by some friends of mine.*
08:51

00:00
ähm.. OK. 0006 When I was 25 or so I was taken up to the mountains of Colorado by some friends of mine who wanted to go skiing but it was a very bad snow year. So, we all decided to go cross country skiing. And I could do that, no problem. So I was really happy to go and so on. So we went up and we went to the condo and it started snowing and it snowed all night and the next morning all of my friends said «see you later, we’re going to go down-hill».  So, I went, well, crap, what am I doing here? So I had maybe 50 Dollars in my bank account and I decided that I was going to learn how to down-hill ski since I was stuck there by myself.
00:52
So I took lessons, private lessons because I didn’t want to be in a class full of little kids. And the instructor said, «I don’t wanna teach you today. It’s the worst time to learn how to ski because there is so much powder on the beginners slope that you’ll just always fall down.» I said, «listen, this is my only day, this is my last 50 Dollars, I’m going to learn how to ski!» And somehow, even though it was pretty upsetting sometimes, just falling and getting up and just falling and getting up, it kind of captured me. And luckily for me they had friends in other ski areas that could get us free tickets. So I started downhill skiing and it freed me, it freed my body so that I could actually move effortlessly and that freed my spirit somehow. It was really an amazing transformation. Very touching.
02:01
And I ran into this guy, Hall O’Leary, who had been presented with a challenge. He was a ski instructor at this place where I was going and… There is a huge children’s hospital in Denver and they were going to bring up like 30 kids to learn how to ski who were, this is not politically correct, who were mentally retarded (mumbles ‚kind of time‘?). And they asked this group of ski instructors, «who would like to take this on?» and nobody raised their hand. And Hal thought, «this is an opportunity to do something really different. I’d like to do this».  So, he started it and out of that started the, well, at first it was called «the handicapped ski program», now it is called «the disabled ski program». It’s the largest of its kind in the world and he went around the world during the time that .. in the 1980ies and 1990ies. And started a lot of the disabled ski programs all over the world. He is amazing and from the engineers who were parents of the kids and stuff, they invented all… a lot of the ski equipment, the special ski equipment for these kids and for the adults.
03:34

00:00
As I was enjoying my skiing and my wonderful life as a ski bum, I turned 30 and … when I was having my birthday party I realized that I needed to find something to do with my life, a  vocation. And I went through all the jobs that I could think of and nothing actually fit. Little did I know that my mother calling me later on that fall and asking me to travel with my grandmother next summer, the summer of 1979, did I know that that would be the answer to my question, you know, about my own vocation and what I would do with the rest of my life.
01:04
And after I was starting practicing Reiki I would bring students back to Winner Park to the ski hill and experience what it was like to ski, or learn how to ski, with all these people who were not «able bodied» we said at the time. And the other intriguing question that happened for me was this question of when we gave them Reiki, what were we expecting? What was healing? That was the big question back in those days because it was like 1985, 86, 87 and I had had, you know, 6 or 7 years to think about what is healing.
01:54-01:57 (coughing)

0:00
ähm.. 0007 It took a few years for me to understand that my mother had been with my grandmother during the time that she met Chujiro Hayashi and began to practice Reiki. And what I understood from her was that she had been initiated in 1st degree with Chujiro Hayashi. And then that was it. She didn’t do 2nd degree. And for most of the time in our relationship from 1980 when I became… understanding about being a Reiki master, she was not happy with the way that Reiki was being taught, that it had been changed through the culture and that we didn’t respect it.
1:08
It was a kind… it was something like.. in polite society you don’t talk about religion, politics and then I had to add Reiki, because her political ideas were very different than mine, so we never talked about politics and we didn’t talk about Reiki because in the end, you know, when I got older and more mature in my Reiki understanding… for her, Reiki was something private, it was not a series of phenomenas, it was… it was something that was practiced without.. being surprised in some by how it worked.
2:09
What she saw in the students of my grandmother and me included, 0216 was that we.. we shared a lot, we shared a lot about… (repositioning herself)
2:32

2:33
We shared a lot about what we were doing with each other and that wasn’t something that she liked, that we were constantly trying to figure out the psychology of what was happening, that we were always astonished that it worked… things like this. So for her this was kind of sacroligious, anti-Reiki so to speak.
3:04
As she grew older, she grew very possessive of her mother because… I feel that she understood my grandmother’s passion for Reiki and that is was sort of her destiny to be this person in Reiki and at the same time, I don’t know if my gandmother would have been a different kind of mother, but as a mother she was… well, they didn’t have an easy relationship. So it was an interesting process to see them, those two and then me, because the three of us felt like if I backed up as an observer, felt like we were the three women in the household sometimes and everybody else faded into the background. And that was interesting and a lot of it had to do with……I feel that a lot of it had to do with my mother’s perception how Reiki should be practiced.
4:30

4:30
So in the end when I had cancer and I started… and I was living in the same town as her, I was receiving hands-on-Reiki like from 7 to 5 times a week, almost every day, not from my mother but from friends of mine and people would come in and stay for a couple of weeks and treat me and so on. So, she would never let me treat her but she offered to treat me a couple of times and that was very special…
5:11
She said that she wanted to be a mother and that she didn’t want to take Reiki on as a career, so to speak. And I used to think that this was a kind of sacrifice, but I realized it was a choice of hers and that she made that consciously and I appreciated that.
5:39
Now that she had passed, I feel much freer in what I can do in the public and what is… what I can open up to the public because I feel that I have… I have taken on some of her understanding of what’s private with my grandmother, the line between grandmother as a private grandmother and Hawayo Takata as the Reiki master.
6:15
One of the things that has been exciting for me in … now I go back to the archives and what I’ve said about going through my grandmother’s things, my mother actually gave me in 1980…something when my grandmother … after my grandmother died… that they will be, I hope, will be housed in the Japanese-American-National Museum in Los Angeles because it… she will be held as a whole person, not just a Reiki person, but as a Japanese-American woman who did this amazing thing and dedicated her life and has touched the lives of people all over the world. So for me that’s an amazing story.
7:07

00:00
Yes, it was my understanding that my mother really pushed my grandmother to see me. You know, she would… my grandmother and she  would talk about Reiki and about the different people who had come to Keosauqua to visit my grandmother because at that point she had moved closer to my mother. Because she was supposed to be retired but I can’t imagine being retired from Reiki and that was true for grandmother. So my mother, even when I was there she would just say, “It’s Phyllis look at Phyllis, she is your perfect person!”And I would go: «No! I’m not your perfect person.» But in the end it seemed as though my mother saw something in me and in my connection, future connection with Reiki that I din’t see, for sure. And neither did my grandmother.
01.12

0:00
After Hawayo Takata died in December of 1980 the master community was slowly informed about this.. about her death by my mother. And what I mean by slowly is that at first she didn’t call anyone, I don’t know for how many months. And then she was starting to go through my grandmother’s papers and compiled a list of people, because some of the masters who my grandmother had initiated she was not acquainted with and didn’t know. Others she knew from the conversations with my grandmother and because they came to visit my grandmother, in Iowa.
0:59
As the masters began to be informed, many of them called me and recognized me over the phone in the sense that they said “well you’re your grandmothers successor, now what are you going to do?”. And it was a questions that I couldn’t really answer.
1:19
So 1981 passed by very rapidly because of course I stayed with my family through X-mas 1980 and then into 1981 (0133) (cough) ähm
01:42

1:42
And during this time I didn’t really know what to do. And then it was evident at some point that Barbara Weber wanted to be recognized as the successor. And I believe that it was somewhere in the late summer or early fall, but again I don’t really know for sure, of 1981 that I went to visit Barbara Weber and asked her if we could do this together. And she said no.
2:22
There was another big question mark about a couple of master who had been initiated and I was surprised because it seemed like the had been initiated before my grandmother’s death which I was a little bit shocked about. But nobody would give me a straight answer. So I flew into Chicago to visit the Chicago masters and talked to them and I believe that I met everyone that year except for a woman named Iris Ishikuro, who was from San José and I never did get to visit her.
3:07
Eventually I realized that the masters had not been able to mourn their teacher of pay some kind of ceremony, you know do a ceremony about her, so I organized this meeting in Habi Hawaii in 1982 and I believe then it was in the spring, sometime like May or June. And this was the first time that a group of masters had come together and we stayed for a week together there. (0347) …(cough) (drinks)
4:01

7:31
Everyone there basically acknowledged me as a spiritual lineage, as my grandmother’s successor. And.. I remember the daughter of Virginia Samdahl was there and we had a talk. And she said “Well Barbara Weber is my master and I have great affection for her and great loyalty to her, but you carry something different and I can acknowledge you as a spiritual lineage”… well actually that … that wasn’t really coin, so I have to say “I can acknowledge you as your grandmother’s successor but I also acknowledge Barbara Weber as my Reiki master”. So in some way she was the first one that articulated this difference between – what I would call – the initiation lineage and the spiritual lineage, although that wasn’t actually named as such at that point…. Yeah, I think that’s true…
8:44
The next year when we met, there were more masters that had been initiated by me by this time and other masters that had been initiated by some of the other masters of Hawayo Takata and… a few masters initiated by Barbara Weber…. It was there that we didn’t really mean to come together and find a name for this group but it just arose out of kind of an organic process. And I think that that’s true that in… if you have a group of people that meet with a certain aim, then you end up naming yourself. So this group founded the Reiki Alliance.
9:39

12:57
This phrase “the spiritual lineage” came in the second meeting at Barbara Brown’s house when we were trying to put together statements of identity for this Reiki Alliance. And I still believe that these statements have great foresight and also a great challenge. I can’t say them right off hand but one of them says something like… “we recognize all masters as equal in the oneness of Reiki” and the Reiki Alliance members today still argue about this phrase. But I believe that all masters of Reiki are equal in the oneness of Reiki. It doesn’t mean we are the same and it’s very important for me…it was very important for me that this thought was a founding stone, a corner stone of the Reiki Alliance because I didn’t want anyone to feel that this Reiki Alliance was a like an exclusive club. But actually my fear became realized and when the new form started to appear in the mid 1980ies or actually in the late 1980ies the Reiki Alliance rally closed it’s door and became very specific to the practice that was passed on from Hawayo Takata to her masters. And that was fine for me but I also wanted them to realize that “they weren’t better than” and this is something that is still in discussion in the Reiki Alliance today.
14:53

0:00
Well, I’m just trying to remember, if I can, if there is another motivation to put that in… it may be that that was a little bit of a defensive statement because Barbara Weber had put out that she was the only true Reiki master that had been initiated and that it was maybe from that standpoint that some of the people voted for that particular statement. I wanted Barbara Weber to join the Reiki Alliance, that was my dream and for all of us to work together. I would say that….
1:09
..that maybe 85% of the masters were initiated by Hawayo Takata was a member of the Reiki Alliance at some point. And at that point, because we all practiced the same system it was really easy to say that, that “all masters are equal in the oneness of Reiki”. And for me it means the same thing as in the US constitution, that all men are created equal. And I.. I feel that that’s true still today and is our challenge not to go into our human ego and decide that we or our lineage or whatever is the best. It’s just so, this is the practice that I have. I cannot say this is the best practice. I can only say that this is what I’ve received from my grandmother and in my way of honouring her I want to be as and practice as close to what she taught me as possible and that’s true for all of the masters that were initiated by her.
2:24

4:08
And that there is this… time frame now where Reiki has appeared and allowed us to develop into masters, like it’s kind of a self-taught masters’ course… in some way, with the help of Reiki, the energy. So… in that sense I don’t see… well, in that sense I believe that if we are truly masters, we’ll be able to understand that particular statement and actually support it, because I believe that it’s true. It’s a piece of wisdom that we came up with that was way beyond actually our mental consciousness at the time. (0501) That’s what I feel….
(René: beyond the individual’s comprehension?)
Yah, but (0508) we all agreed to it so somehow I think we were wise beyond our years, so to speak.
5:15

00:00
My membership of this circle of 22 masters initiated and recognized by Hawayo Takata was very important to me. I felt that this circle held the energy of Reiki and the practice of Usui Shiki Ryoho up until now… And now there are four members of that circle still alive, that we know of. And Wanja has been not teaching for a couple of years. So now its Rick Bockner, Paul Mitchell and myself. We were the youngest when she initiated us all. And … I felt that as the Grandmaster, as the recognized lineage bearer that I was the spokesman for this circle. That in truth I couldn’t do anything to «change» the system or to alter the message without actually going back to the circle and somehow having agreement among us.
01:28-0130 (rülps) Excuse me.
 I think that from their point of view I was doing a lot of things they didn’t like but most of the things they didn’t like I didn’t like either. But it was happening, and so what can I do? y‘ know, like all the change… all the different kinds of forms of practice. There was no way for me to control that. And… I learnt that very early on that, y’know, my job was not about control, because it was impossible to control people. I didn’t have the personality of a police person. So, there was kind of a joke about having Reiki-police
02:13

02:13
But it was important for me to be able to hold the totality of what Hawayo Takata passed on as practice and know that the totality really was about the 22 masters and in all the different ways and variations that we practice.
That the truth of the practice was in the whole, no’… was not in this person’s practice or that person’s practice but in the whole group’s voice of the practice. And right now, y’know, what’s sad for me is that that circle is now not alive. In the sense that most of them have died.
03:00
So, now what we’r… what I’m working on is creating something called, which is not just being created now, I mean, it’s already in existence but the… to create consciousness about something called the “Master-Body”. Which for me is this collective of all Reiki Masters and that whether or not you choose to be an active member of this body you add to the body energetically, just by being a master.
03:33

00:00
It isn’t that it it’s not painful. (0007-0011) (coughing) It can be confusing. And it can be thoughtless. But basically I think we’re moving into an era in which people see that there is a pathway and that my students will.. can go to another form and find what they are looking for there. And then there are other people who can come from another form and find what they are looking for here. And without this movement … what’s really important in nature is crossbreeding. And, y’know, it’s really important not to end up having a monologue.
01:00

01:00
And, y’know, at first with all these different forms I used to think that it was a betrayal of my Grandmother and her teaching, y’know, to stray from this form. (0114) But now what I’m seeing is that we just created (0117) we just created our own (0119) ähm… we created our whole ähm …(shakes head) (0131)  we created our whole field (0134) of different forms of Reiki practice, (0138) so that people could enter however they came to Reiki and that people could find their way through Reiki. So then it becomes even a multi-level path, not just entering into one practice staying there for the rest of their lives. But having the … the ability to follow their impulse to other things.
02:04

2:03
There are a couple of other interesting points: nr. 1 I wanted to create another name for the Reiki that I do like … .. well like Barbara Weber came up with «Radiance Technique», she trademarked it, it was totally clearly hers, nobody fought her for it and it was really clean. You know, and that’s what everybody could have done in that moment, is to just have been clean. But it wasn’t, we weren’t there, we weren’t mature enough at that time and I am including myself and I couldn’t think of another name, so I went back to Usui Shiki Ryoho, which was not trademarkable because it was in common use and also… because it contained a man’s name and the man was not alive to ok it.
3:05
So then, after I couldn’t think of another name and couldn’t trademark Usui Shiki Ryoho then I thought, well this is Reiki just telling me: “ok, you stood up to somebody who wanted to sort of… exercise control over a certain group of masters and it was good that you said «no”. And I appreciate the Reiki Alliance for supporting me in handling the costs of this particular law suit.
3:49
And I feel like it was a good thing for us to do, for the whole Reiki community, because now…. in the… now people can not trademark Reiki and so it’s still… it’s the same, we still have freedom of use and… no one has to be the Reiki police. (laugh) .. So we get back to that again.
4:21

00:00
Well, it’s very hard to generalize why people are angry and specially around this. And as I said a lot of it has to do with peoples‘ misunderstanding about the use of trademarks and what the bring you. The other thing is that, you know, when we adapt a practice like Reiki that touches us in this kind of essence place of our humanness, then we want to protect it, to control it in the sense of, you know, making sure it’s not harmed, to be sure that other people don’t harm it themselves. We don’t want it taken away from us. We don’t like betrayal. And so … depending on your own attitude about what those controls must be
01:02
or how want’em protected or how … I should have done my job to protect it then of course there … I can understand why there would be a lot of anam… anger and animosity because I just didn’t do my job. I mean, that was Joop’s .. as far as I received from his communication at the time, his bottom line, was that I wasn’t doing my job so that he had to do it for me. And now that he was doing my job I ended up appearing taking it away from him. And.. you know, I can see that. However, people assume that there was a way to control the proliferation of the different of the different forms of practice. And I believe there was absolutely no way to control that.
02:02
I mean, this started happening from the moment Hawayo Takata died or before. And I liken it to our human need to make things our own. So as a kin.. as an example which seems kind of flip
02:24-02:30 (coughing)
it seems kind of flip but actually, I think we all can relate to it, as we go into a hotel room that is made to be neutral and immediately we open our bag, we take out our stuff. I used to have a whole hotel room thing. I’d always have a pareo or a beach shawl, Sarong kind of thing, I put it over the TV. And then I’d have the pictures of the masters, I’d put them up. Have a little candle, put my stuff in the bathroom, scatter it around, take the towels down and fold them the way I want it. You know, I’d undo the bed because I hate having the bed tucked in at the bottom.
03:16

0:00
Oh I’m sorry I didn’t make that clear… (0009)  We are incorporating or inviting or visioning that this will be a reconciliation place for all Reiki practices to come together. Not, as I said, not to teach each other our practices, not to convince each other who is right or wrong but to live in peace, to rally live supporting each other because I believe that.. what humanity is asking for is a way to get in touch with our human spirit and to be able to nurse that spirit just in a very simple way like we do with Reiki, our Reiki practice.
0:54
And if we spend our time arguing about hand positions and you know personalities and so on it’s really a sad waste of an opportunity to develop humanity in its sense, to deepen our Reiki practice. And you know having different forms and having different ideas about
0123 (räusper) 
where Reiki, the energy comes from and you know should we have oral tradition and have a master who stands in front and in person and initiates or is it okay to accept you know distant initiations and so on. All these questions, they really are the meat for some great conversations, not about finding out who’s right or wrong but to deepen our understanding of the universe and these questions Reiki is leading us to
2:01

2:01
And I believe that this is what Takata said when she said “let Reiki teach you”. She didn’t say “go practice Reiki however you want to”. She said “let Reiki teach you” and one of the things that I learned about Reiki is that when you get a question that’s the great learning, that’s the place where you get to go deeply and sometimes it takes you years to find the answer. And I believe if we all came together and connected and discussed these questions we would further our own individual practices, our own individual understanding of the universe and raise the practice of Reiki in the world to… a recognized force in our social transformation.
2:58

3:50
you know they have other options so they have like 10 options and women have 3, see, so of course Reiki is gonna get a lot of them, a lot of women to come. And at the same time … you know… when I also remember our innocent days of the 1980s we didn’t know what we were doing, we had no idea what we were dealing with. So
(0425) (räusper)
what happened in like 1986, 1987, and this is something that I haven’t talked about publicly, but I think it’s very important to acknowledge, is that during that time the Reiki Master community was really in some way…testing their powers. They would do Reiki classes, their students would come, lots of really wonderful, magical things happened during that time.
4:52
But the other thing was that we didn’t know what we were doing, we didn’t have any personal boundaries. We all had been given this gift of this connection to Reiki universal life energy and we found that we could do anything we wanted, literally. And you know, women and men would come to these classes, fall In love with their Reiki Master and the Reiki Master would say, well this is where Reiki is guiding me, right? So, you know, people would have affairs with their students, they would create very dysfunctional relationships with students, they….. and in some way in France this was called out because of their sensitivity to cults, C U L T S, cults and they termed Reiki as a cult. Well actually the Reiki Masters, most of the Reiki Masters who were French in that moment and you know the 1990s they actually acted like cult leaders because they didn’t understand how to be Reiki Masters, because the culture didn’t support mastery in the way that the Japanese culture does.
6:16

6:16
I mean kids are raised in the Japanese culture to respect one another and to learn to work with their… energetic being in a really different way than in France or in the U.S. I mean Americans are just all over the map as we would say colloquially. So we had no boundaries, you know, and we got called on the carpet, we were really lucky actually in.. I say “we” as a huge community going into this that something really terrible didn’t happen, but it didn’t.
7:01
We figured out, in 1990 the Reiki Alliance figured out that they needed to have a code of ethics, because things were getting so bad. And it was not just between students and masters but between masters themselves like people would have gatherings and people would have affairs and then, you know, we ended up having to hide affairs from the spouses of these people who were also acquantancies and good friends of… I mean, it was… as a social wreck… you know then the ethics, the code of ethics started to come in and people started to say “ok, let’s… you know… get some…. you know handle on this you know… let’s be mature about this”.
7:53

7:53
But it was a development of process of mastery. You know and I now believe, that in the classes now even with young masters, this is not an issue like it was then. I mean of course it happens. And you know, there are lots of long term relationships now, that started as a student came in to a masters class, they fell in love and they took their time, they were mature, they allowed their relationship to mature and now there are long term relationships and people are happy with them. But… it takes time to kind of sort that thing out..and… I just ….feel like we are in a different place now.
8:49
So.. that’s one way to use our power is through our sexual expression. Another way to use power is power over… this is an expression where, you know, it’s kind of the cult leader thing, you know, like I know the truth and I’m giving you the truth and if you want to know the truth I am the only person that’s the source of the truth, right… and what the original , what I got in my Reiki class was you have access to your truth and no one else does. I don’t know where I got this message, she never said it like that, but that’s definitely what I got and what all of us got. So when we would have discussions it wasn’t like “I’m right, you’re wrong”, it was like.. the end-sentence was “and this is what she taught me”. This is what I glean from her teaching. Well, how could you argue with that? You couldn’t, so you had to like open yourself and just allow that all these little differences were also a part of her teaching and that you could keep your own without being threatened by everybody else and welcome and embrace your brothers and sisters Reiki Masters you know equally even though we weren’t the same. It was a tremendous opportunity.
10:26

10:26
And… I think it’s very human to want to find the real story of creation you know, it’s like… native tribes all over the world, you know indigenous groups of people have a creation story and when I listen to some of their creation stories I think well that’s total fantasy, but what I have learned over the last 30 years in listening with different ears to these stories is that they are based on truth, they are based on the truth of the tribe. And that truth lives on through the tribe and keeps the tribe nourished, you know on these energetic-physical-spiritual levels.
11:23
And…. The Reiki story as is told by Hawayo Takata in truth… you know like in factual truth, I have no idea you know how factual it is and I never cared. But what I do get when I tell the story, not because I believe it, because I tell you in the first ten years I told that story because that’s what I needed to do as a Reiki Master. And when I saw what it did to the people who were listening to the story, I thought well there is something more going on here than I can perceive because it’s not like I told the story so well or I told the story so accurately or I told, you know, I’m such a big person that the story made a difference in people’s lifes. I mean as a young master I was just astonished by the effect the story had on people by the energetic transmission that came through that story.
12:31

12:31
And I believe that there is truth in that story, a kind of bigger truth that no fact can destroy. And that .. this concentration on fact has been a little misused, not.. I don’t think.. not consciously but through the motivation of saving people from the untruth, whatever that is… which I can’t go there myself… And the other things is that … I feel like there is a drive in some people and perhaps it’s more male than female, for having really solid foundation, really like mental truth, like I know this to be true (1338) (cough) …. and 
13:48
.. my basis of truth of the story is the way that I feel when I tell the story and the effect that is has on my students. So these are two really different measures of truth and I would say generally species-wise that intellectual is more masculine and feeling is more feminine.
(1413)
However it is my… it’s one of my bucket-list-things to do is to bring these two together and to be able to have peace with this because I have to say…
14:32

0:00
So, if we could generalize and say that this informational truth was sort of masculine and the feminine truth was from feeling then there would be a wish for me to bring these two together and it’t kind on my bucket list of things to do before I die that somehow these two will come together peacefully, not in competition but in understanding that they actually complement one another. And this the thing that again is… always.. a little irritates me, because.. people write books or they want to save the Reiki community from another lie or whatever their motivation is and I think it’s too bad that… we don’t really want to serve the community and what I mean by that is not to be so egoistic about it, you know to feel like I’m going to save the world or I’m going to write the best so and so or whatever and all the research basically that has been done, where I ‘ve been able to see the actual facts have supported the story as I have gotten it, received it from Hawayo Takata.
1:44 ähm (räusper)
There are not very many… there have been one or two little things, where I’ve had to really think about “what did she really say?” and “did I use different words?” and “did I misunderstand this part?” and so on but for the most part it’s been totally supportive. …The publication of having the existence of the memorial stone in Tokyo..outside of Tokyo .. totally supports the story as it was told to me by Hawayo Takata.
2:25

0:00
Why would I have to make a sacrifice? If you ask me “what would I have to give?” that’s a totally different question (0016) (René: let me rephrase the question..laughter…Thank you … and the answer would be?) (0028)
0:29
Well… first of all I feel like I have to stay alive long enough for this to happen, because one can not push these things, these kinds of coming together. So I believe that this filming, I believe your conversations with all these Reiki Masters around world
(0058).
I believe that movements like the Australian Congress (for whatever better word)… I believe that Reiki Home as it matures will bring these factions together in a way that is the right time. And then when we meet it will be able to be done in a way that people will say “well, that wasn’t so difficult! Why did we think that this was impossible?”.
01:30
And this has happened over and over and over in my lifetime with Reiki. And so I don’t know why it can’t happen now. So I have to give up dying…. And probably other things in my personality that I can’t see right now. But I have to be able to make the space open for the conversation and I work on it myself.
02.10

0:00
Certain people bring out certain qualities in us, you know, when we partner with them and it’s really interesting, you know, we always polarize. So you know the more macho the researchers are, you know, and now I feel like Frank Petter and William Rand and some of the others have softened a bit. I don’t know if that’s really true or not but it feels like they have. So I feel less defence, defended and so you know it’s like this is part of the process it’s going to take to have us come together not particularly in the sense of being in the same room talking together but being able to use their data and find it ok and then… you know what I mean (0054) So.. (René in the back ground) Oh no! This is not on the record (Thassos: this was on record) … I’m kiding, I dont care. (Thassos in the back ground). (0111)
1:10

0:00
Well there.. at this point I have to say that… I have to consider my physical health, so most likely not. But in the sense of an ideal situation, it wouldn’t work unless we had a higher purpose. We couldn’t just meet to meet because what’s the point? I don’t want to necessarily be friends with them, I don’t want to learn their…. form of Reiki. I don’t want to teach them my form of Reiki, I mean I’m not… that’s not an agenda item on my part. So the question is more to the point why would we meet, what would be the motivation for us to go and it would have to be something pretty astonishing, something… (0103) you know I’ve been studying ähm …
1:09
excuse me .. .(0113) I’ve been studying regenerative thinking and a part of this regenerative thinking is to acknowledge that in order to have transformational processes happen that we need to be able to think on three.. at least three levels and maybe more. And the three levels that are primary are the individual, this community.. our group-mind and then for us to have a higher purpose. So it’s a third line of work.
1:42

1:42
So, for instance, if individually we all worked on ourselves enough and were engaged enough to feel like we were able to go an meet each other… then the next line is what would we.. what would bring us together and it would have to be a third line of work, it would have to be something that all of us were passionate about and all of us were willing to come together to talk about this (points upwards), not here (points midway) and not our individual selves.
2:21
So, for instance, in ProReiki there is.. this organisation has in someway set a bar that’s a higher purpose, which is to explore… the possibility of making Reiki professional, which I am still on the borderland whether or not this is an appropriate mission, but it still is a mission but it brings us together so that I can be in a room or be in a meeting with people that I would never be in a meeting …. I mean I wouldn’t be there just flat. So that’s all I am saying is that we would have to have really interesting conversation at hand.
3:15

reconciliation is the force that brings us together. Just to be clear: I could do reconciliation without meeting them.

3:34
In Japan, because of the culture.. Japan introduced Buddhism to it’s… brought Buddhism in kind of the year 536 or something. And out of that time many different… sects like SECTS of Buddhism emerged. They basically all practiced Buddhism in the sense that they take the words that… were attributed to Buddha and the methods that he used to attain enlightenment, they have approximately the same identification of enlightenment what the term means, but they take only a small portion of his teaching and one method to get there. And that’s the difference of all these sects. But they all know that they.. their foundation is all the same practice. And I would love Reiki to become that way because it means that there is no competition, there is no right and wrong, just different forms and different methods to get to the same relationship with Reiki, the universal life energy.
5:04
So for instance in Zen meditation, which is Zen Buddhism, which is very… well we have some idea in the western world about Zen meditation, so it’s a very specific kind of meditation. And you basically sit in silence and you’re.. you sit doing chants of mantras and stuff to a certain amount of time and then your process is to have internal processes that bring you to enlightenment to peace within yourself. And it takes many, many years if not a lifetime.
5:46

5:46
For another sect of Buddhism, they believe that …. I can’t remember the name of the sect, but it’s a sect that actually created the Japanese written language from Chinese. And this man created a sect of Buddhism and they believe that language and the chanting of language, phrases is a way to enlightenment. So this one sect takes the heart sutra and this is their main chant and they say that if you have the heart sutra on your wall and say it every day then you will, your inner self will automatically become improved. It will be beneficial.

6:45
So here is one sect that says you’re supposed to chant and use language, the other sect doesn’t use language at all. But they don’t fight against each other. They just simply see that perhaps a student of one sect could go to the other because they advance and then they decide “oh, now I need to go and sit in silence” or the other way around. And the point is that they know that their service is to the student and his benefit. And this is the part where we in Reiki are not, we don’t have yet, we don’t serve the student, we decide that our practice needs to be big and important so that we can be big and important. And we are not paying any attention to the confusion and the disarray that this brings into a student. And so not only do they have to put up with that with their own disarray inside of themselves and their own spiritual practice and figuring out what’s going on, but then they have to figure out this whole other mess that is there.

7:59
And for me the mess is an adolescent stage of development, which is where we are. This practice is only a hundred years old, give or take a year or two and… you know we are not there yet. You know, Buddhism is, you know…. In Japan now we could say it’s an 1800-year-practice. So in those 1800 years yeah in 1800 years of practice they figured out a few things, and competition is one of them.
8:43

08:43
and maybe they never had competition, I don’t know.
08:47
Andi to add.

10:48
So when I got to Russia I was told that I would have one day with people who wanted to be master candidates and at that time there were 2 or 3 Russian speaking masters and they had just be initiated but all the other masters initiating in Russia were from other countries and flew in and did classes and flew back out. And they were not able to ask for US$ 150 for first degree, they just couldn’t bring themselves to do that. So I was to address these master candidates and of course one of the big questions was about the money, US$ 10’000. So I tell you I did a lot of Reiki treatment on myself, I did a lot of nashing of teeth and I knew that I had to walk in there and say “you pay your initiating master US$ 10’000, I don’t care what they ask you, you pay it!”
12:03
So.. I went in and I was like trembling and there were 130 people in this room, wanting to be Reiki Masters. And I have to say, that was in 1992 or 3 or something like this and today I still know most of those people, like 85% and 90% of them were initiated. And they paid US$ 10’000. They got it instantly which was amazing for me because if I had addressed 130 Americans and said this to them, I would have gotten a lot of resistance. So here’s the deal:
1250-51 (räusper)
I went in and I said “you know, this system is like a recipe and I want you to know that I paid US$ 10’000 to my grandmother for my commitment to Reiki, for being a Reiki Master and at the time I had no idea why I was doing this, because I didn’t even know what that meant. And I said “over the years I’ve initiated many masters and I want you to know that whether you know it or not, you will be a Reiki Master in this system and you will be a Reiki Master in a world community and though you cannot imagine travelling outside of Russia, now, you will! And when you go outside of Russia, I want you to be the same, I want you to have the same commitment to the system, I want you to have paid the same money and I want you to be able to hold your head up and say I’m a Master of Usui Shiki Ryoho, just like you!
14:15

14;15
… They stood up and gave me a standing ovation and I nearly fell to the floor. And some years after that I was in a master seminar with a man who was there and he said “you know, you came on the eve of the USSR breaking up because that was the only way legally I could go to Russia actually. And he said “here was this giant that had been brought to it’s knees and split apart and we had no dignity left and when you said that to us you gave us back our dignity and our desire to be a Reiki Master in the world.” And he said “we never even imagined that”. And he said “you gave us something to work for”.
15;20

15;20
And it still really touches me and at the time I was there, it was like about 2000 like early 2000’s, and I had gone to Russia
1534 (räusper)
expecting to address about 300 people and that’s what the hall can take, that was how many chair it had.
1544 (sniff)
And there were over 500 people that wanted to come for this weekend. So they immediately, the organizers scrambled around, they found another place that was bigger and that I could be there but it meant that I made an amazing amount of money even though each of those 500 people paid me US$ 20 or something like that.
1608 (sniff)
And I felt a little guilty about it. You know and this man just looked at me, he said “You earned every penny of that!” He said “Don’t you feel guilty, because if you feel guilty then again you’re taking away our dignity! Because we want to support you! We want you to go out of here, you know, content and able to be nourished in whatever way you want”. And it just really touched me and the relationship that the Russian speaking countries, the former USSR countries
1654 (sniff) 
have with money is something that’s very, very special!
17:00

2:46
So.. in the sense of people squabbling about “I have the right Reiki” or “I have the only Reiki” or “I have Reiki from… you know, Krishna or whatever” you know all of this is working out the individual’s process and also it adds to this restraining and activating force on this global level what we call the .. what I call the global Reiki community. And Reiki is our reconciling force and I believe that when we are really ready to surrender to that reconciling force and are able to hold the creative dissidence that is happening right now, we are going to get something really great.
3:51
So if we can imagine ourselves in a cauldron just being stirred by the great hand of Reiki…
4:07

0:00
Many people ask about the reason why Chujiro Hayashi didn’t accept Hawayo Takata as a student in the beginning. And there are some rumours that is was because she was a woman, which I have never actually thought about because
0031/0032 (räusper)
the person who took her to the clinic in the first place was a woman who was a student of Chujiro Hayashi. She was the dietician in the hospital where Hawayo Takata was going to have an operation….
0048-0:56 (räusper, Augenverdreher) So, äh..
I actually have this question and it was kind of unanswered for a few years and then there was some understanding that came to me that in Japan…. during this time there was a lot of confusion and some of that confusion was about nationalistic ideas of Japan’s culture being exported to other countries and in the same way other countries’ cultures being imported into Japan, which was not actually welcomed because for the most part the Japanese considered everyone else on the planet barbarians. One of the things is that of course who they saw in the beginning were sailors and they never bathed and the Japanese bathed almost every day. So just that little physical difference was one thing.
2:04

2:04
The other thing is that the sailors of course being who they were, sailors, and kind of pirates, you know, were not very sensitive to walking on Tatami mat floors with their muddy boots and so on. And the Japanese were like very refined, very sensitive to new ones and the sailors new ones was like “Get me another drink” you know. So they had these very strong ideas about what the rest of the world was like.
2:38
So they didn’t want their refined culture … represented by flower arrangement, tea ceremony, martial arts and those kind of things, they didn’t want them to be taken out into the barbarian world and destroyed, basically. So when I found this out I thought “well maybe that was one of the reasons why he refused her”, I don’t know. Even though she spoke Japanese as her first language, she was fully Japanese in parentage but she was born in Hawaii and was going to go back to Hawaii, that was very clear.
2:24

5:38
And then she did other, she studied other things. So I don’t know how long she went somewhere… but she came back on an appointed day and Chujiro Hayashi kind of made a speech, a farewell speech to his students about what his predictions were, about Japan attacking the US and how they would be in war and what, you know, Hawayo Takata could do to save her family and herself and so on. And also he recognized Hawayo Takata as his successor by giving her all of his worldly possessions, that’s a very usual thing to do in Japan for succession. And then he laid down and in a little while stopped breathing and went into transition. This is what Hawayo Takata would say in her story.
6:46
I won’t get into this but I believe that this… she said that this was the most … spiritual moment of my life. And when she said that you just had this feeling of this man, knowing that this was his time to die and knowing that he could actually choose it and that he did it. And I don’t believe it was through a suicide. Maybe some historian researcher will tell me otherwise but even so he still chose this moment. And in Japan that’s a very honourable death.
7:35

7:35
So then Hawayo Takata eventually went back to Hawaii and during the war many of the people in Hawaii were put into internment camp  or (0745) they were contained in their plantation … (räusper), exuse me. (0754) They were contained in the plantation housing areas. So Hawayo Takata somehow and it is said that she followed Chujiro Hayashi’s instructions, she was able to travel from island to island freely. And she gave Reiki treatments, she taught Reiki, she did a lot of things but that was very, very unusual for a Japanese person, either man or woman, to be able to leave their island of residence and travel freely, that was unheard of. Her family never were put into internment camps and my mother tells stories of taking cookies and treats to her friends who were in the camps. So there were camps in Hawaii. And this some people don’t believe and some people say it didn’t happen but I believe my mother. (laughs) (0856) (räusper) 
8:58

11:48
I find that this juxtaposition, you know, of here Chujiro Hayashi didn’t really want to teach her Reiki because she was, you know, going to take it to Hawaii and then it ended up that he named her his successor, knowing full well that this would take Reiki out of Japan and perhaps save it in some way. And this for me is a very good example of a Japanese person not worrying about what the social norm was, or what would put him into prison or what was the best for himself. No, he followed the energy of Reiki and said “this is your successor and so it goes out and whatever happens to Reiki will happen”. And actually what happened to Reiki fulfilled Mikao Usui’s dream that Reiki would touch the world.
1301-1302 (lets her hands drop)
13:00

1:38
However, when I came to Reiki and then my grandmother died. It seemed instantly but it was a couple of years later. And then I was recognized as the lineage bearer or Grand Master of the system, her successor. I tried to listen to all the voices and somehow come to a compromise about what I should do and what should happen and what direction will we take and so on. But I started to find my own will and that was very important for me. One of the very first times that I had a difference of opinion with this group of masters was in 1983 when we were drawing up the foundation of the Reiki Alliance. And people really wanted to exclude Barbara Weber, because at that point she was saying really nasty things about us and ….being very righteous, I think that’s an accurate word.
2:59
I wanted to include her… I was… I did not found the Reiki Alliance in order to have my own organisation. I really want this on the record! I wanted to found an organisation that would lift everybody up to a higher purpose so that we can all sit in the same circle. So I kept inviting Barbara Weber Ray and her… the masters that were her students or her masters actually to please come to the Reiki Alliance, so that we could have a place to sit and talk.
3:48

3:48
But that wasn’t going to happen. And that’s okay. But I just felt that that was really important. And then as the years went by I just realized that if I could say YES, a full Yes to anything that I did, initiating a Reiki Master, having a first degree class at a certain place, getting married to my ex-husband… my husband then or moving to Canada or moving back to Santa Fe or wherever, whatever I was doing. If it were my decision then I could own it. And if I needed to make another decision, I could make that decision, but it would be all mine. And that’s what I have gone to since then.
4:44
There are lots of people who have said “please, please do this” you know “next year”. And I said “well, I’m not ready, I can’t do it, I can’t say yes”. And it’s frustrated a lot of people and it sometimes frustrates me but I feel like this YES is a very important piece and what it did for me was it broke down the walls inside of me. I felt like I had all these different personas inside of me and they were all fighting with each other. And when I needed to have congruency then I needed to break all these walls down and listen to all the voices inside of me and come to a place where is was really YES.
5:36

5:36
And then I started looking around and by that time I was in Germany, I lived in Germany for five years and I lived in Hamburg, which is very close to Berlin and I had initiated a master who lived in Berlin, West Berlin, who was going to the East to teach classes, illegally. And so the Berlin wall was very real for me and I was there when it opened. I mean “opened” is a very accurate word, because it just opened.
6:23
I thought to myself “I hope the world learns a lesson from this”. That you can put up an artificial wall but it doesn’t keep families from loving each other or wanting to be with each other, it doesn’t keep people separated. It just is an artificial structure that brings pain. And it seemed at that moment, because of the way that the wall opened that maybe we had come to another order of relationship in… between nations and between people in the world. And I have to say that after this there has been a kind of… in my opinion, a kind of back-stepping that.. and maybe it’s going forward and we’ve met another impasse. But somehow today, in 2016, you know we’re looking at countries in Europe building walls, literally building walls again, because they want to keep out their brother and sister who are starving to death, who fear for their life so much that they’re leaving their beloved homeland.
7:56

7:56
You know, it’s weird for me that people think that these people, that migratory people, people who are running for their lives literally are doing this out of choice. Well of course they would stay at home if they had food. Of course they would stay at home if they thought their children would grow up. You know, of course they would stay at home if thought that they would live to see another day. But they’re literally running for their lives and that the call to humanity for me is we’re getting an “F” right now, which in American grading system means “we’re failing”. We’re failing our test of humanity.
8:49
There is a wonderful saying that says “if you have enough build a longer table rather than a wall”. And it’s like this is what we need to do. The world needs to respond and I’m amazed that you know, an earthquake in Africa or in India or Bangladesh can just inspire all these musicians and all these people to give millions of Dollars to rebuild.. because they’re in their own place and they are not migrating. But these people, not just Syrians but other people are migrating because they have to and we’re not willing to spend this money in our own countries to take them in and to say “you can live here until your country is ready to take you back”.
9:56

0:00
When my grandmother died in 1980 and Barbara Weber Ray, well then Barbara Weber said that she had been told that she would be the successor, I… my reaction was it was totally possible.
0028 (räusper)
And the process of succession is more than telling someone that you will be the successor. There has to be recognition. And of the 22 masters that were initiated by Hawayo Takata, most of them recognized me. Sometimes because just before her death Hawayo Takata had said “Phyllis is my successor”.
1003 (räusper)
But because there is another factor which is that the energy came to me and this Hawayo Takata had no control over. I believe that this was also true about Chujiro Hayashi. He might not have wanted Takata, Hawayo Takata, to have been the successor but he got where the energy was going and he surrendered to it. It wasn’t that I was the favourite of my grandmother, let me tell you. She wanted me to be very different. And she was not happy with me but she also recognized something inside of me, that I didn’t even recognize myself in truth. And….
1:56

6:38
Barbara took the stands of being the only one who had better training than us, that had received a… more symbols and so on and eventually said that she was the only Reiki Master that my grandmother, Hawayo Takata, had ever actually initiated, that all. the rest of us were not really Reiki Masters. So that put me and all of us into this question “Are we really Reiki Masters?” And that was the best thing that could have happened to all of us, including me, because I had to go inside myself and find this truth. You know, am I a Reiki Master or not? Do I feel like I’ve gotten what I need from my Master? And eventually the answer was yes. So…
7:44
She pushed me in a lot of ways, some not nice. But I have to say and I said this at the time in the 1980s, she was the gift that my grandmother left me. She made me, forced me to go inside and find the strength that I needed to have this position. And to be able to nourish and have the community nourish this part of me because I believe that all of us initiated by Hawayo Takata had the possibility of being her successor. I mean, I don’t feel like I was special in the sense of I had more education or I had the right education or I had her bloodline or anything… that… that actually I don’t think had anything bearing on the case at all.
8:41

0:00
The succession question for me had been one that has been foremost in my mind since 1983. And … of course back then I was so young, that I was gonna live forever, and we didn’t really have to think about it. But I did think about it because my grandmother’s death created so much havoc for all of us and at that time of course we were still in this conversation with Barbara Weber and I thought my grandmother could have been more clear and so on. And at the same time realizing how advantageous it was to have a restraining force, you know, this activating/restraining, it was fabulous. So…
0:57
And then in the late 1980s Paul Mitchell and I started to travel in … to other continents, we came to Europe first. And we often flew on the same airplane. And finally somebody, I’m pretty sure it was a German master said to me “you know, you guys shouldn’t fly on the same plane”. And I just laughed and I said “You got to be kidding me”. And she said “no, actually I’m not. I’m saying to you that you two have a responsibility that you’re not taking care of”. And I thought to myself, well that’s actually true, I guess accidents can happen. And at this point the Reiki community was so fragile that if Paul and I had died in the same time it would have shattered the community. I’m not saying that to feel like … you’re replaceable or anything, I just feel like if I was living responsibly as a leader, you know, I had to take care of that.
2:08

3:20
Ten years ago I started to do work with this regenerative development thinking and in that I realized that … I didn’t know how the succession would work and that I needed to study it and I needed to really get the master community involved. I always thought that the successor would come from the body of masters that I had initiated, which kind of makes sense and it might actually be so. I have no idea. I don’t have a person in mind at all. There have been people who have come to me and said “I feel like I’m going to be your successor”. And I just have studied them over the years and I don’t have this feeling, right now anyway.
4:17

4:17
So when I .. found out that I had cancer and the treatment for it was so effective and so quick actually, I feel like the Reiki community was alerted but we didn’t do anything about it.
I went back to my old, you know, not
0443 (räusper)
as intensive travel schedule but I went back to my old ways and travelled and did my thing and so on. And then my metastasis happened, three years ago. And then the Reiki communities .. the master community sat up and said “okay, this is not over”.
0504 (räusper)
And I believe my body really has served me because three years ago we started on these… having these weekends called succession weekends. And they were not about voting to see who the best candidate was, which actually people did come thinking that.
5:28

5:28
But we are working on … investigating what are the functions of the spiritual lineage? Is there an energetic essence called the Master Body? Which I have spoken about from 1985 or 6. I believe there is a Master Body. There is an energetic Body that includes all Reiki Masters and especially all masters in the system and that they carry responsibility for the system because they’re masters. And we investigate what is the process of succession? What actually happens energetically? You know, where will this succession go? And what I’ve realized personally for myself is that of course somebody is not going to apprentice with me and be the next me. Somebody is going to appear at the time that’s very close to my death and they’re going to be recognized as the lineage bearer. And this person will take Reiki a whole other step that I cannot even imagine.
6:43
Just like when Hawayo Takata died at first I was really upset that she died so soon after my consenting to be a Reiki Master, not her successor, but a Reiki Master. And what I realized some years later is that in her dying then she gave me the gift of her wisdom and of her presence, because I’ve always felt her presence, but we didn’t have to struggle personality wise. And we would have had major, major struggles on the personality level.
7:25

11:17
So, whoever comes now, they have have what we call a millennial brain. They have to…. they have to be able to really see you know the globe and our world community as one. And all these young people do. I mean they get it by you know, being born with computers in their hand. I mean… I don’t know…. I don’t get it. But I really get how different their perception is and how oecumenical their view point is.
11:53

11:02
So the succession may of not be one person, I don’t know. It could end up being a group of people, but for sure the master body of this system needs to be able to open to another way of thinking and another way of being as masters, I would say a higher expression of mastery in order for the succession-process to be successful. And what I mean by successful is that it is done not without conflict because I don’t believe that there is a possibility of no conflict but I believe that we can see the conflict as a natural progression toward a creative resolution, reconciliation.
11:59
And if they don’t keep that in mind, if they vote… if they want to take a vote by personality, then I will have failed. Because this position is not about personality, I mean, I would have lost, hands down if they would have taken a vote on personality, because my personality was a wreck. Reiki healed me. This having to force myself out of my personality idiosyncrasies to think bigger and to think, you know, more humane, you know, it made me this way. You know, I might have had leaning sort of. But y’know it made me give up a lot of personality distortions. And it’s not about personality…..
13:00

13:00
At some point… (laughs)
1303 (Schneuzgeräusche)
… in my…. realisation I realized that I didn’t want to be liked, I wanted to be respected. I didn’t care about being loved, I wanted to be respected. And I’m still working on that, because in the first 10 years all I wanted to do is be loved. So finally people thought “okay, I’ve succeeded in giving her what she wants”. And when I got it I thought “well, actually this is not what I want”. I want respect and it’s coming, because I’m respecting myself… more.
13:45
So the succession process is a process and it is very exciting because last weekend… a weekend in February in Mexico a small group of us got together to speak about succession. And because my cancer is active again and I don’t know how many years I have of active duty so to speak, I feel time really pressing on me now. And so now we have a…. what is called, what we call a transformational succession process plan in place. And we are starting it… you know, the first steps of that are being started. There’s a letter of invitation that’s going to go out and there’ll be a small group of masters who will …. well my guess is small group of masters who will say yes to the invitation.
14:59

16:06
And then with the webinar, people who are interested can sit in as witnesses. So we could have hundreds of witnesses if we want, which will be really great. And it will be able to inform the master community in a kind of networking situation. And eventually in a year we might be able to have a collective in-person gathering, you know where we speak in person for once. But anyway, we’ll just see what happens. But this is being coached and facilitated by Ben Haggert, who was a … my go-to-person with this regenerative developmental thinking process. And it’s really changed the way that I think and the way that I see the process of life.
17:05
I’m very, very excited by this because … it gives me not hope but a way to carry this system forward into the future and I believe that not only the system but the whole of the global Reiki community.
17:36

5:26
But there are many, many masters who practice this system who are not members of the Alliance. So the Alliance is a volunteer organization for masters to support themselves as masters. 0545 Yah..
5:48
Question from René: OK, within…. .??… yourself as a Grand Master for those fractions?
0552
Well, I’m only a Grand Master to those who recognize me. So there are members of the Reiki Alliance who don’t recognize me… now…. which is interesting. And I … in some way my questions is how do they get to be members of the Reiki Alliance? But that’s true for me that they’ve come and told me “I don’t really recognize you as a Grand Master”. So I asked them “Why are you a member of the Alliance?” And then our conversation ends there. I’m only the Grand Master for those who recognize me, I’m.. it’s not a titular head that is so, if everybody tomorrow ceased to recognize me as the Grand Master then I wouldn’t be it anymore and that would be fine for me.
6:48

0:00
You know titles that are transferred from culture to culture are often very problematic. And it’s the same for this from the Japanese culture into Western culture in English. They referred to me as a Grand Master, it was a term that was coined and has been used in other Japanese art forms, the Grand Master, to say the Sensei, the head Sensei, teacher of teachers so to speak. But it means more than teacher.
0:46
So a master for me has a least five different aspects. There is the initiator, the teacher, the mentor, the student and the tradition keeper. So when people say “I’m a Reiki teacher” my response in my head is to say, “Oh, I see, so you’re not claiming responsibility for being an initiator, for being a mentor, for being a student or for being a tradition keeper”. And for most of the Reiki teachers that I know that’s true actually.
1:28

1:28
So then as Grand Master I believe that there are several different aspects of Grand Master which we are starting to articulate now which is very interesting. And one of those aspects is bearing the lineage, is actually the lineage bearer. And it was a decision on my part to use both simultaneously because in 1993 Paul Mitchell and I formed the Office of the Grand Master, which meant that he also had a role that I would say is an aspect of the Grand Master called Head of Discipline.
2:11
So both of us together envisioned that this office would actually contain many people by now, but it hasn’t. We haven’t… we haven’t matured to the point of adding another person or two. But it wouldn’t surprise me, we just don’t… we just haven’t had those people emerge. And so Head of Discipline is one aspect of being Grand Master, that’s the person who holds the form and who holds the discipline of the practice, exactly what it means. And usually in the martial art they’ll have a Dojo Master and the person who is the philosophic head of the martial art and that’s who I am, I’m the lineage bearer. So I’m the energetic head of this practice and he took on the role of being responsible for a Head of Discipline.
3:16

3:16
Now, when I die it’s very possible that his role will be subsumed or assumed by a circle of people who will come in and have collective lineage bearing. So it will be like a kind of a committee or circle of lineage
0339
but what I’ve, we’ve been talking about is that every 0344 ….OK, let me see where I was … 
3:52
So when Paul and I formed the Office of the Grand Master I thought it would be clearer if I were also be referred to as a lineage bearer. So this means that I carry the essence or the energetic essence of this system. And he does not replace me, he is taking on one of the aspects of the Grand Master position that I felt I couldn’t do at the time. Now whether or not one person will be able to be the Grand Master of this practice Usui Shiki Ryoho in this lineage … I don’t know.
4:39

5:51
So, you know, in this particular practice, say we have a million students and … 9000 masters, I don’t know, these are numbers I am just picking out of my hat. 0604 (Schneuzgeräusche) But how is the succession going to be carried smoothly, well somewhat smoothly and clearly into the future, and this is something that we are studying now. So it is possible that when I die that one person will take this on and be supported a group. And it isn’t a group of “in-people”, it’s a group of people who are willing to be committed to this part of their practice.
6:44
I realized very early on that any of the masters that Hawayo Takata initiated could have become her successor. And I believe that as masters, when we are initiated and recognized as masters we have the potential to be a lineage bearer. It’s obvious because if we, if you or anybody else initiate a master then we are actually starting a lineage.
0716 (räusper)
But the masters who applicate in some way this part of them as masters to me as lineage bearers, I want them to awaken this part of themselves not so that they can be lineage bearers but that I believe that it is this part that will recognize my successor. Does that make sense?
7:45
So I’m very excited by this process and… excited because it expands my awareness of my own life and what I’ve been doing all these years.
8:04

0:00
I have this idea that this practice is like a heritage seed. It isn’t the practice that has the most members or students anymore but it is a practice that is seminal that is of the essence in the whole circle of Reiki forms and practices that we have today, because it was the seed
0041 (Geräusch) from which many of these came. So whatever happens to this system is going to affect the other systems of practice, the other forms of practice. And that’s okay because we are all interdependent anyway, I mean it’s obvious that we are. 0103 And ähm …
1:05
whether or not they recognize me as their lineage bearer, which of course they don’t or they would be in this practice, then… well that’s not quite true, so I have to go back.
1:21

1:21
Whether or not those people in practices that are named Usui Shiki Ryoho recognize me as the Grand Master, my passing and the succession will affect their practice to a certain extent. Not because they want it to but because it just is so, I believe that and it will affect… as it will affect all the other practices that call themselves something else. Mainly because a lot of people have founded their practice in resistance to me. And if you found a practice in resistance to me then I hate to say it, but you are as connected to me as those who feel like they are connected to me.
2:12
One of the things that I have asked people over and over again if they want to start their own practice, please go ahead and do so but name it something else so that students have an understanding about what they are practicing. So all the people who have Usui Shiki Ryoho as their, you know, name of practice are holding that name in some way in resistance to change it. Because if they chose Usui Shiki Ryoho at the time, even in 1988 they would have recognized me as the lineage bearer. Because it was in fact the only system basically that existed.
3:01

6:20
In this day on confusion and fusion, confusion and fusion of different cultures. You know like you go into restaurants now and if it says Asian Fusion you have no idea of what kind of food you gonna get but it’s somebody’s idea of Chinese/Japanese/Thai/Korean whatever, all mixed together, right. And this is very confusing to me, I just want you to know. So fusion sometimes results in confusion. And I believe that one of the gifts of having clear different practices is that students get to choose which practice they can come to, that’s right for them in the moment. I’m not a proponent of putting all the practices together and having one universal practice, that is not going to save the day. What’s going to save the day is for us is to be respectful with each other no matter what.
7:33

0:00
The aspects of mastery or the roles of mastery, as I have spoken about earlier, are specifically for the practice that I teach and hold, Usui Shiki Ryoho under the lineage that I carry. If to generalize this to all Reiki masters, what I would offer is that these are aspects of mastery as I see them. And everyone has a choice of whether or not they’re willing to take on these roles. So I see that a teacher is one that’s very obvious. And teacher has a very limited scope because even in our academic world, you know, you have a teacher and it’s for a certain course, for a certain time, for a certain number of classes. And then if you take the same class but 2.1, you get another teacher. So teacher is something who delivers something to the student.
1:20

1:20
The initiator on the other hand is a person for me who has energetic responsibility for the student. They initiate them, in that they become energetically connected with that student and they have responsibility for that student energetically for the rest of their lives. Now this is not something that many masters adhere to or even believe. And that’s fine with me. It’s something that for me in my practice I adhere to and I expect the masters who teach in this practice to hold that. And there are many other aspects to initiator that we don’t even know because we haven’t actually sat down and talked about it or shared experience about it, but this is something that I really long to do. Soon!
2:26

2:26
A mentor is something that as a quality and an aspect of mastery that from the very beginning we are asked to be mentors, for instance somebody else’s student comes to you and says “I’m lost, I just moved here, I need to have a Reiki master. Could I come and sit in on your classes or whatever?” And so you become their mentor. Now what some people think is that they also have to become their initiator. But in my book, in my understanding you don’t have to become their initiator, you can take them on as a student and be their mentor and you can have the same kind of relationship. You don’t need to initiate them again because they are already initiated into Reiki, they’ve had their experiences and you’re there to be a mentor.
3:21

3:21
And none of these roles have a hierarchy, there’s not one that’s more important than the other. Then there is the student, so we are all students of Reiki. And there are some masters who feel that once they become a master, that’s it, they know everything. And they don’t need to go back to their initiating master for advice or for further understanding of the practice or for support. You know, they tend to really be an island, which for me is something that is…. not accurate as a human being. In high school we always sang the song “no man is an island” and that thought has been underlined several times for me in my Reiki practice where I really understand that we are all interconnected, that we are connected on many, many different levels and that as a student of this practice we get to further our own studentship while teaching, that’s part of the dynamic of being a master, is that we are a student and we teach at the same time. So we become.. this dynamic works in us all the time in a very beautiful way. 0455 (räusper)
4:58

6:53
The master gives you a few simple steps, you practice, practice, practice and then through your own practice and mentoring of your master you become a developed student. This part of the tradition is for me a human tradition. 0712 It’s like: I had a privilege to accompany very good friends of mi.. (hiccup) excuse me (pause)
7:24
I had the honour to ‚ve … 0725 (rolls her eyes) 0727 I’ve had the honour to know a couple who I feel like really personified teaching their children through the oral tradition. The mother put together immediately a scrapbook of family and of this child’s upbringing, how she grew and grew and grew as a child. And so she would take out this scrapbook like every week at least and they would go through the stories of where her grandparents came from, you know how they met, how their parents met, this is the parents when they were younger, before she was born, you know, this is her when she was born and how they changed their life and how they built their house. And all these oral tradition stories really enriched these children.
08:24

8:24
And I believe that this is part of the breakdown, in America anyway, of our family structure, is that we count on computers and televisions instead of living oral tradition. And I don’t feel like there’s any replacement for oral tradition, and it is the way that we as human beings learn. So if we’re horrified by the way children relay to each other in the school ground, it’s because they relayed how they have been taught, by television, by video games and by computers and by movies. And we can’t blame the children. So I believe that in our folk-art tradition that it is very important for the good of our society to maintain these traditions. So that’s one example that I can give you and in another year, after contemplating this with other masters and other beings, I assume that I would be able to be more articulate about other aspects of tradition keeper.
09:40

0:00
Perhaps another part of tradition keeper is simply noticing that there is …. a human aspect to the student/teacher relationship that
0021 (räusper)
is always a challenge for both. And that is when the student “grows up” and becomes a master of their own or even a 2nd degree student on their own, they have their own experience, they have their own understanding of what they’re doing and sometimes it doesn’t agree with their masters. And that’s okay. One of the things that was very clear in Hawayo Takata’s teaching was that everybody has the right to their own relationship with Reiki, the energy. 0056-0057 (räusper)
0:59

4:27
Was this an act of dissonance or an act of surrender? You know… I mean… I think it’s a bit of both actually myself. And I have to say that I never… I never said, or if I … if people understood that I said, I just want you to know that this is misunderstood, but I never said that Barbara Weber was not ever…. introduced as the successor to Hawayo Takata. Because I believe that it was totally possible. Before I came into Reiki, Barbara Weber was her pride student. She was educated, she was a great organizer, she doted on my grandmother, she wanted to further all of my grandmother’s wishes, which she did, totally. She helped her record a book that she wanted to write, she made it possible for Reiki to become a household word
5:39

5:39
I don’t believe that she actually changed the teaching that she received from Hawayo Takata. She might have added to it, but I don’t feel like she changed the actual teaching, because she was a really dedicated student. She did what her heart and her education and her being really needed to do for Reiki. And I will never call this dissonance. It wasn’t comfortable for me for sure. I didn’t like some of the things she said about me but about what she did, she followed her path and I did the same thing. And so did all the other masters that Hawayo Takata taught and initiated.
6:30

0:00
Again, this is a… my problem because I know the question isn’t going to be asked, it’s just so weird for me to just say “I’m sorry”, you know, like where does that come from and what am I sorry for and you know there is that whole thing. So I’m just trying to formulate a starting point and then where to get to from there.
0:43
Some years ago I was introduced to a little book called “The four agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz and he’s a Mexican…. He’s a Mexican … sorry I’ll start again…
1:06
Some years ago I was introduced to a little book called “The four agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz and it’s been translated into many, many languages. And basically he is asking people to start on a spiritual path having these four agreements with themselves. One is to do your best, another one is to not take things personally, to be articulate with your word and ….. okay, what’s the fourth one? Do not take things personally, do your best and be articulate with your word and … oh ja, don’t make assumptions. Okay, I’ll start again…
2:11

2:11
So a few years ago I was introduced in this little book called “The four agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz and I really recommend it to all of us who practice Reiki because it’s a really great way to … measure and to take assessment of our own humanness in human relationships and in the relationships with the planet and everything else as well. And I …. these four little phrases run through my mind, always do your best, don’t take it personally, do not make assumptions and be articulate with your word.
2:59
I try to do that in my own mind. And of course, being a human being, when I do my best I often don’t do what other people want or expect. When I don’t take it personally, sometimes people think that I’m cold or I don’t care. When I don’t make assumptions, it means that I don’t assume that somebody is hurt, I don’t assume that this is being taken the wrong way or I don’t assume that it actually affects people, which is actually not usually accurate (laugh).
3:46

3:46
And being articulate with my word, I think that for all of us, we try to express ourselves verbally and one of the things that is so clear for me now is that our verbal language has gaps and it definitely has places that cannot express what we really want to express. I spent some time in the 1980s and 90s learning German. It was a very interesting endeavour for me because language is not one of my better skills and though I love the German language I also didn’t have time to dedicate to the learning of it. Though I did take a 3 or 4 months course in Hamburg and that helped pave the way for more coherent German sentences (laugh)
4:45
Although I missed the week about pronouns, which turned out to be definitely significant (laugh) So I’m not very good in German pronouns. So anyway, I realized though when I was taking this language and trying to speak it that I really had to get into the mind set of German, you know and of being German. And it was really fun for me because at that point I was liv… I had an apartment in Hamburg and I really loved North Germany as a part of the country. And I was feeling very at home there. So it was easy for me to kind of slip into this German part of myself, I would call it.
5:37

5:37
But when I went to other countries and I didn’t have knowledge of their language, I didn’t really understand their culture and their cultural priorities, I realized that I often offended people or as they say here in America “was kind of like a bull in a China shop”. I just, you know, blundered my way through being an American, not really understanding that I might be offending people.
6:10
So there’s that part of me, being human. And then there’s the other part of me, which just is shy and sometimes not wanting to put myself on the firing line, which I think all of you can understand. So I have more courage these days and I also have more understanding about where other people come from, that I feel like everyone is doing their best. Everyone follows their path of Reiki and even though I may not like it or I don’t agree with it, I will fight to the death for your right to have your own path, because for me that is the gift of Reiki and the gift of this path.
7:02

7:02
And I have told my students this as well, that if we differ in opinion it’s okay for me on one hand, I may not like it, I may not like you for a few days but I will fight to the death to make sure that you’re right to disagree, or to have your own opinion more accurately. It’s preserved because that’s our inalienable right as a human being.
7:33
I also feel that, whether or not I like it, I’ve made assumptions and whether or not I like it, I not always said what I really needed to, because of my shyness or because I feel like I won’t be taken seriously. So there are many different relationships that I have that I don’t even know I have, out in the Reiki world and also relationships where I know that I’ve transgressed. And for all these times when you feel that I’ve transgressed, that I’ve entered your space unwillingly and uninvited, where I’ve offended you in some way, where my … where my loyalty to my master has caused you pain because it’s different from what you have learned is Reiki, and that has given you pain, for all these things I want to ask your forgiveness because it wasn’t my intention, it’s not the way I hold you and everyone has been a great teacher for me. And without you I wouldn’t be who I am today.
9:09

10:45
So in keeping to this feeling of doing my best at the time, I think that when I was… in the mid 1990s when I was going through this trademark thing, I had some regrets but I couldn’t have made a different decision, at the time, in 1983. I just couldn’t have, it was not to be done.
11:18
Another decision that I made, that people… that seemed to be a very big deal in the Reiki community, was in 1988 during the first Reiki Alliance conference in Europe in Friedrichsdorf. I made a very important speech. And unfortunately… I wasn’t…. I wasn’t able to be articulate and to be accurate in my word. So people misunder….. people misunderstood me, they interpreted this speech really differently and … than I had imagined they would and … I did my best. So basically this … the whole thing that it came to was that I … that I had listened with growing dismay about people saying “Well you’re the only one who has the power to initiate masters”. And I would tell them “You’re wrong. This is not about power”.
12:55

12:55
And finally what I realized was in order to dissipate this rumour, this misunderstanding, I needed to just open the doors. Because the doors were already been pride open by other masters who were initiating masters already, Barbara Weber being one of them. And people saying “Well, are they really masters? Does she have the power to initiate masters?”. And I kept saying “It’s not about that. It’s not about that!”. So… and I also, one of the other motivations for me was that I saw that some of the masters of Hawayo Takata, who had been practicing and teaching and doing their path, were really ready to initiate masters, they had master… they had students coming to them, wanting to be initiated as masters. And those students were given to me to prepare and initiate. But I was starting to get students who weren’t my students, they were the students of the masters who sent them. And I couldn’t, in all integrity, take them on. I wanted to say “You study with Paul.. you study with Beth… you study with somebody…” you know, whoever has sent them, because it just wasn’t right.
14:24

14:24
So in this speech I tried to say (laugh) that the circle of masters who had actually given me their power to initiate, like there’s a word in English called “abdicate”, they gave this power to me and I believe it was the good thing to do at that moment, 1983… ah 1982 because this would have split the Reiki community I think maybe irrevocably, if so many masters had started to initiate masters for even the first 5 years.
15:09
So I did it, everybody saw how I did it. A lot of people didn’t like what I was doing but they couldn’t say anything ‘cause they had given me and said “you are the person to initiate masters in this system”. And that would have worked, if the system had stayed small, had stayed local but it didn’t… it just… in 1988 people were being initiated all over Europe, in India, in Canada, in Australia. You know, it’s like “Really? I’m going to initiate all these masters? Forget it!”
15:47
And the other thing that I said to my friends, was “I am not going to be an initiation machine, where people just send me their students, I initiate them and that’s it. I mean that’s too weird for me. So…
16:07

16:07
I made the speech and I said “you know, it is a master’s right to share their information and their calling as a master to any student that they feel is worthy. And it is up to you to prepare yourself for this step”. And I don’t know if any of the other messages have gotten through but the response was I had given away my power, I had… and I said “I haven’t given away anything. I had nothing to give away”, because this whole power thing was a misconception, you know, it’s not about giving away your power, it’s about sharing sacred tools so that a worthy student can step on the path of mastery and have their own experience of this. It’s not a… it’s a gift but in a kind of funny way. Because you know they are going to have hardship, challenges, confrontations… it’s going to take their life and totally change it. And… that’s a kind of funny gift I have to say.
17:28

17:28
So, anyway… I spent a lot of guilty feelings around this because it was so misunderstood at the time. I felt like I hadn’t been able to really articulate what I wanted to and, you know, at some point I just had to say “I did my best and it opened up the space and it was a little ungraceful but in the end it accomplished what I wanted. And that was to dispel this idea that it was only me who had the power to initiate masters. That was really important for me. 1807… So
18:21

0:00
.. but my peacefulness around this has come and lately, what’s really funny is that I actually found my notes for this speech… as I was going through these papers… I don’t know where they… I can’t lay my hands on them today, but it was really interesting to read it and to see how progressive I was but at the same time people were not able to listen to this language. They wanted to have kind of a physical “You can initiate masters and you can not!”, you know “You are not ready!” and “You are!” and I couldn’t have done that because it really, really for me was not my place to bless anybody to initiate masters nor to prevent them from initiating masters. So of course what happened, was.. is that … the masters that I thought were ready to initiate masters were angry with me and they didn’t initiate masters for years. And the people who were kind of young, upstart masters, who ‘thought they knew everything’ and so on, they began to initiate masters right away and they soon learned what initiating masters was about. I couldn’t have taught them that.
1:33
And in the end it was really right. You know, it wasn’t something that was “pretty” in the beginning and we all had judgements. But… and I opened Pandora’s box, I admit.. but I feel like it was now a good thing. I wish I would not had used the sledge hammer but perhaps the key (laugh). But I didn’t have the key then.
2:07

2:07
Then all these new forms of practice started to pop up, some from my own students. And … people wanted me to control them. They wanted somehow from me to do a good job so that people wouldn’t feel like they could just go off and do their own Reiki. And I took it upon myself to really study the situation and decide if there was anything that I could do, anything at all. And in the midst of all this kind of contemplation time …. Shunjan Joop Hilger … I found out that he had trademarked
0301 these ähm Usui Shiki Ryo … no, 0304
the Usui System of natural healing as a phrase, Reiki as a phrase, the Kanji in Germany. And he had been awarded the trademarks. And I thought “oh… now what?”.
3:22
So in this whole process I had a partner, the Reiki Alliance, because many of their members were threatened by Joop’s use of these trademarks. And what was so, is that even though I wasn’t able at the time inside myself to trademark these things, I also didn’t feel like it was appropriate for another master outside the lineage to hold these trademarks. So we got into kind of out-of-court discussion about who own the trademarks, which cost both of us a lot of money and time and energy and … I’m sure agro… aggravation, sorry, it’s a slang (laugh).
4:14

10:39
So I just, you know, at that point between my personality and my lineage bearer self I was crushed. And I just dropped it, just like that. And I left a lot of people high and dry in my own community. Some masters actually left Reiki because of this situation. My relationship with the Reiki Alliance has never.. I don’t think healed from this particular process, on my part, because I felt not supported, not recognized and not heard….
11:37
There has been tremendous misunderstanding that has come out of this particular four year period…. And… there is nothing I can say to … convince people otherwise. You know, there is an idea that I was doing this just to make money. Well, you don’t make money on a trade mark unless the people who are able… unless the people who want to use a trademark actually pay you money. And I knew that Reiki masters wouldn’t be able to pay me US$ 5’000 a year, so that was not what I was gonna ask. It was just assumption, after assumption, after assumption, that for me, especially with the Alliance members felt very painful because I realized, they didn’t know who I was, they didn’t know how much I thought for them and they didn’t know that I could see them and that I would be compassionate. So this was just a heartbreaker.
13:03

13:03
Could I have done something different? No, I felt like I did my best. Unfortunately … (laugh) unfortunately my best was not nearly good enough. Ahhh… I was not prepared for this. I had no one in the community that would step up and be there for me. I had business men come and tell me … who were Reiki masters… come and tell me “Don’t get into this, you’ll regret it” and then walk away. They didn’t come and say “Listen, you need help. You need to know what you are getting into, I can help you with this” and eventually show me that this was not where I wanted to go. But nobody was willing to do that and that kind of unwillingness, I don’t blame them, I blame mys… I don’t blame myself, I just feel like I wasn’t open to it. And they didn’t feel the opening to come and support me.
14:05
So … I don’t know where that came from, but … It’s been my … If I have any regret in my whole time being recognized as the Grand Master, that’s the one. I never met Joop in person. I would…. Now I realize I should have several times met him in person. We only talked through attorneys. We never talked face to face. We didn’t go to court, it was settled out of court, so I didn’t even see him in court…. And I feel badly about that, because I feel like we only have the projection of who we think he or she or I was at the moment and it’s probably still present. I mean that’s where our relationship ended, so to speak. And that’s where it’s going to stay, because as human beings we can’t progress until we actually progress in real life. And that’s really sad.
15:20

15:20
So… Can I forgive myself? Well, yes. I feel like I have. Because I couldn’t go on if I hadn’t. And I don’t know what I could have done differently. And I don’t even know who to write now to say “Thank you for all that you did to support myself, your local communities and the vision of Reiki that we all had. And that vision now, where I am now, was so limited, I realised, that …. If I knew then what I know now, it would have been a very different scene, and I didn’t.”
16:24
Speaking about it helps, because I feel that I’m able to speak about it in a way that I don’t bring up my guilt and I don’t bring up feeling small and inadequate but I just bring up this overwhelming feeling of sadness that….. it couldn’t have been different. If that makes any sense. That I would have liked for it to have been different for everyone…. And it wasn’t.
17:13

17:13
Since then (laugh)… since then my life as Grand Master has been pretty mellow (laugh), and I feel that…. I changed in a way through this process and I’ve become much more clear about what I’m willing to do and what I’m not willing to do, who my audience is and who my audience is not and so on. So these are the three places when you asked me about forgiving myself that come up for me and that there’s obviously energy still there, and I think rightfully so. It’s…. these were times where in our…. in my community anyway.. in this practice that there were significant changes of development that happened.
18:28

5:22
The activating force is the preservation of this system. The restraining force is about personality. If people were able to think about me not as a personality but as a part of this system that they practice, I am just as essential as the symbols, as the hand positions, as the initiation, as themselves as masters. We don’t understand what the dynamic is but I know that the dynamic is there. 0603 (nods her head) 0605 So …. ähm… Ya! 0611 
6:13

0:06
It is my hope that my legacy will be that I not only invited the Reiki community to move to a higher expression but to have guided it so that it became a higher expression of itself. And what I mean by this, and I don’t mean to be critical of where we are because every level of expression is necessary and needs to be lived thoroughly, it’s a little bit like growing up as a human being: You know, we need to live babydump (0:46) thoroughly or it gets stuck somewhere. We need to live adolescence thoroughly, we need to live young adulthood thoroughly. And what we’re moving into as a community for me is a maturity, but it needs to what I feel like Reiki is asking of all of us is…
1:17

1:17
Is to do this reconciliation not for reconciliation’s sake but as a stepping stone to the next stage of development of this practice, and I mean practice globally. That is to be able to … develop into a practice that serves humanity and serves life. That’s very, very clear from the self-treatment of those individuals to associations and groups of people who do specific projects to the global community that actually votes and informs the government leaders of our times and that actually make a difference on a political and on a spiritual and on a mental level and the only way we can do that is to act together.
2:29

8:01
Now with all this energy moving forward, moving into the future we need to have
0811 (cough)
0814 With all this momentum and moving into the future it is clear to me that Reiki is saying “Ok, now you are ready for the big picture”. You know the world is not about Mommy and Daddy, my Reiki Master, my lineage, it’s about our Reiki and it’s about our gift to humanity. And once we have this over-arching understanding of what we have to offer the world, then we can develop our individual selves and our local communities to meet and to serve in that way…..

9:28
I’d like to be known as the person who saw that and fanned the flames.

ca 09:33

08:29
In 1992 we came together because he had had a feeling that he should step in and help me as the lineage bearer, as the Grand Master actually at that point. And I also had the same feeling. And we had not had a very friendly relationship for the last 2 years before this. So it was really reconciliation immediate that we came together and it was recognized by the Reiki Alliance as a community and so he became known as head of discipline and our office together was the office of the Grand Master. 0912 So.. (räusper) 0915
09:16

09:16
So since 1992 and 3, we started this relationship until now, he’s been a peer and this particular relationship of peer has been very important for me. He’s a very different person from me, personality-wise, we have very different approaches to money, to travelling, to ….lots of different details like that, but our approach and what we are called to do in Reiki is the same. So we have had just amazing experiences working together.
10:09
He is really clear that he is not a lineage bearer, anyway now, he’s 2 years older than I am. We don’t know if his position will be filled if he dies. He is very clear that he wants my position filled by one person when I die. And I don’t know really if that’s gonna happen. I would like to think that I’m open to any.. whatever comes up, with the energy of Reiki with the Master Body and with the community.
10:47

10:47
He has played a significant role of kind of anchor in all these years and has provided either the activating force or the restraining force in our discussions and vice versa. About 10 years ago we got kind of tired of the polarisation that this was creating. So after 2 or 3 years of actually going to counselling together and trying to work out our differences, we came to this conclusion that we were just very different personalities and that we didn’t really want to change each other. His reticence to talking, his way with money, his ideas of what Reiki was and what Reiki wasn’t stimulated me to really research my own ideas and vice versa….
11:51

13:13
So we continue these OGM-reatreats and the next one will be in October of 2016 in Almaty, Kazakhstan and it’s the first time it’s in the Russian speaking eastern part of our world of Europe and I’m very excited by this, very excited. So, who is Paul: Well …. I have lots of levels of answers to that but for the most part he’s been my partner in the OGM… in the office of the OGM of… no, he’s been my partner in the Office of the Grand Master, he’s been in his.. from his own perspective supportive of everything that I’m doing and in his own way he has supported the lineage by not being the lineage bearer.
14:25

0:00
A few years ago I ran across a little book, it was the rage back then, called “The four agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz and I at first thought, well this is just like the precepts of Reiki and but just spoken in a different way. But then I started to realize that these four little phrases affected me in a different way, more directly maybe and with less questioning. So I’d like to share them with you because they have really made an impact in my life.
0:51
The first agreement is “Be impeccable with your word”
The second agreement is “Don’t take anything personally”
The third one is “Don’t make assumptions”
And the fourth one is “Always do your best”
I feel as a human being that I’ve been able to use these in order to not only do my best and be sure that my communication is as best as I could be, but also to own my own humanness, my own understanding of situations and then realize afterwards that my best could have been better if I had known what I know now. So…
1:53

1:53
I’d like to start with “Always do your best”: I feel as Reiki Masters all of us do our best in every given moment. Often times it’s easy for outsiders to say “Well, why didn’t they… why didn’t she do this or why didn’t she do that?”. But it’s easy when you’re outside of the situation to see other options. Personally I believe that you and all Reiki Masters and myself included, always do our best in any given moment.
2:31

2:31
The one about “don’t take things personally”, that’s tough. Because in the beginning, especially in the early 1990’s I thought that the changes that were happening in different practices and the formation of new forms of Reiki were an affront to Hawayo Takata and of course I wanted to defend her. And so I definitely took things personally, if not personally also for Hawayo Takata. So I was a bit strict and a bit strong in those days and really confused because at the same time I really do believe that every person has a right to their own opinion and who they are. So even though my students differ in opinion and in theory from me I want to also say that I would defend their right to have their space, have their opinion and have their theory.

3:47

3:47
When we make assumptions, often times what we are doing is filling in the gap of the unknown. And I believe that as Reiki Masters and I wanted to train myself to do this, that if there is something that I don’t know, I try not to make an assumption in order to fill in the unknown, but to just allow it to be and to see what happens. Well, of course in the early days I wasn’t very good at this and I made lots of assumptions. And now I trust that the number of assumptions that I’m making to fill in the blanks have lessened and in making those assumptions I feel like I have put other people in boxes or put on to people certain attitudes that maybe weren’t correct.
4:50

4:50
Be impeccable with your word, this one is really important for me. I really try to be impeccable, which means to say my truth as best I can in any given moment. And the most important part of this is the “in any given moment”, because the minute that I have a conversation with somebody, that idea or that word could change (0525) (cough)
5:36
These five… these ….0540 These four agreements with myself have allowed me to look back and to…
6:05
These four agreements have allowed me to look back without judgement and without guilt and to see my humanness and to come to you with a request
0619
… and then I think it can go on with the rest of it…. (Do you think that’s possible?)
06:30

0:00
And so: be impeccable with your word, be impeccable with your word, be impeccable…. Being impeccable with my word
0:26
Being impeccable with my words
0:31
Being impeccable with my words
0:47